Celebrities such as singers, actors or dancers can earn a significant amount of money

Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

In today's world, entertainment has become an essential part of human life, and those whose career are singer, actor or dancer can earn a significant amount of money. While some argue that they do not deserve what they contribute to the nation, I do believe that all they receive are deserving.

Firstly, it is not their luck or natural endowment but hard work contributes the most to their success. The path to stardom is not comfortable. Before appearing in public, personalities have to spend even ten years practising non-stop, put great effort into their career so as to bring the most perfect version to the society. Besides being time-consuming, their work also needs to be invested with a considerable amount of money for learning all skills that an influencer require, purchasing clothes and facilities to appeal to audiences. In Korea, for example, a nation well-known for numerous Kpop stars and idols, statistics show that only 5 out of 1000 candidates can debut successfully and record great achievements in their career, and the cost for their preparation could be millions of dollars and tens of thousands of hours training. Therefore, their high paying should be accepted as a reward for their significant effort and dedication throughout their career.

Secondly, being famous goes with a wide range of problems. Celebrities have to face the fact that they cannot lead a normal life like most people do and have little private time for friends and family. They may bear always being in public eye, followed and terrorized by extremist fans and paparazzi who stalk them everywhere and every time they go out. Subsequently, they have to keep calm and avoid any wrongdoings and mistakes, in order not to suffer from a stream of criticism and abuse.

This can lead to severe depression and fear among luminaries. Last year, Korean witnessed two famous singers taking their own lives in their apartments due to a large number of negative comments online and vituperation of internet users. One can see that famous people have to stand up with such a big pressure that not everyone can imagine.

In conclusion, for their substantial attempt and contribution to the society, celebrities certainly worth their high earnings

This is an over discussed essay. You need to write only 4 paragraphs to explain your opinion in the presentation. It is not a 5 paragraph requirement discussion. Keep it short and informative. You are using good examples but are too focused on the reasons rather than the explanations. The discussion is unnecessarily long. Try to quickly explain yourself. Do not rely too much on examples. Be precise with your explanations. Do it within 2 reasoning paragraphs. There is no need to over extend the discussion when you only have 40 minutes to finalize the response presentation. It is more important to make sure the scoring rules are followed rather than having you just keep writing for the sake of extending the essay. You will open yourself up to more grammar errors in that case.