Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Cement production with combining all of the materials and how it is used for the building purposes



NinaJoesuf25 36 / 61  
Nov 21, 2016   #1
IELTS PART 1- CEMENT PROCESS

The diagram illustrates how to produce cement with combining all of the materials and how this cement needed in for the building purposes. Overall, it is important to bear in mind that the process to product cement needs some complex processes and the concentrate production combines four different materials.

To begin with, the first diagram reveals that, the clay and limestone are rushed before the powder, the result of first step, passed through a mixer. Next, the produced power passed through rotating heater. Before producing a raw cement materials, the powder has already heated passed on a grinder machine to become raw cement. Ultimately, the cement is packed and ready to be delivered.

The second diagram shows how much the materials needed for producing a concentrate. First of all, it is needed a cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and plenty of small stones (50%). Next, all of the materials are mixed in a concentrate mixer machine. By the time, the machine rotates to overwhelmingly combine all of the materials to create a concentrate for building construction.


  • 15183849_15985963701.png


Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15386  
Nov 21, 2016   #2
Nina, you need to make sure that you note the correct terms to use in the summaries. When you use the wrong term, your whole essay becomes wrong. The biggest mistake that I can see in your essay is that you keep referring to concrete as concentrate. Those are two different things. Cement is a binder substance used in construction. While concrete is a heavy and rough building material made from materials taken from cement. A concentrate on the other hand, is a substance made by removing water. I am fairly certain that you are not referring to a concentrate in this essay as the diagram doesn't indicate that. Now, you were able to somewhat properly summarize the procedure indicated in the diagram. The reason I say somewhat is because you failed to use the proper terms to describe the materials used or produced in the essay. As such, your task accuracy is greatly affected and could result in some severely low scores had you done this in an actual test.
justivy03 - / 2265  
Nov 25, 2016   #3
Hi Nina, below are my thoughts for your analysis.

- withby combining all
- of the materials and how this
- cement is needed in for the building purposes. - to productproduce cement needs
- some complex processes and the
- concentrateconcrete production combines four different materials.

- are c rushed before the powder,
- the result of first stepproduct is then , passed through a mixer.
- Next, the produced powd er passed through a rotating heater.
- Before producing a raw cement materials ,
- the powder has already been heated passed
- on a grinder machine to becomeproduce raw cement.

There you have it Nina, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and I left the last paragraph for you to be able to practice your editing skills and keep writing.
krempetkov 13 / 27  
Nov 25, 2016   #4
...shows how much every of the materials is needed for producing a concentrate.
First of all, it is needed a cement (15%), water (10%), sand ... - - i believe it's better to make more comprehensive analyze and use phrases like -- 1/2 of the concentrate is created from small stones, whereas the water responds for 10% ....


Home / Writing Feedback / Cement production with combining all of the materials and how it is used for the building purposes
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳