The change in Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas - IELTS Task1 - Table

Hi everyone, hope someone can help me review my essay, thanks.
--- Essay ---

coffee and bananas sales

The data show us the change in Fairtrade-labelled coffee sales between 1999 and 2004 include with the comparison of the figures in UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden.

In 1999, Switzerland already had 3 million of sales in Fairtrade-labelled coffee. It was double or triple than the other 4 countries. The UK got a better market in Fairtrade-labelled bananas. Which was 15 million euros. The rest of the countries got no more than 2 million in sales.

In 2004, most of the countries had a dramatic market growth in both labelled bananas and coffee. The UK stood up the most which got more than 10 times growth in coffee sales and slightly more than 3 times sales compared to 1999s. Only Sweden and Belgium had different trends. Decline in bananas sales.

Overall the market for both Fairtrade-labelled products experienced a significant increase. However, the countries' figures still had some differences.

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This is a year on year comparison. It is not a successive comparative table presentation. This is inaccurate information that will lower the task accuracy score in terms of proper information dissemination.

The summary overview could be more efficently presented with the correct division of sentences (avoidance of run on presentations), other data highlights, and the merging of the overview with the trending statement. The overall format of the presentation is based on memorized templates which do not properly reflect the writing abilities and sentence formatting know-how of the student. Since the student only wrote 150 words exactly, any deductions applied to the other scoring sections will immediately result in an overall failing score. A better writing assessment can only be conducted when at least 175 words are used in this presentation.

It will also be better for the student to remember that a single image presentation is best reported and scored using a 3 paragraph presentation. The 4 paragraph presentation is only used when there are 2 or more images involved in the report. a 4 paragraph presentation for a single image reflects that the student is using memorized templates rather than actual personal insight and proper writing formats as taught to ESL students.

@Holt
Thanks for indicating the word 'between' since I use it a lot. I'll change it to 'two separate years' next time.
I never memorized any template. It's a pity that I let you feel it's template writing.
Thanks again

1st paragraph: UK => the UK (remember to add "the" in front of some countries such as: The Philipines, The US, The UK: these countries are comprised of many parts or many states)

And to me, you ought to present the overview of this passage prior to the first and the second body in order to boost your C-C mark.