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Change in the number of international graduates engaged in eight different Canadian provinces


sharfina 35 / 21 5  
Jan 18, 2016   #1
The graph below shows the percentage change in the number of international students graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006.

A breakdown of the proportion change in the number of international graduates engaged in eight different provinces in Canadian between 2001 and 2006 is illustrated in the bar chart. Overall, by far the favorite province chosen by students to acquire knowledge in universities was recorded in New Brunswick. While those of International graduates in Alberta declined considerably, the converse would appear to be true for other figures over the following period.

To begin, between 2001 and 2006, The highest number of international students completed their studies in universities in New Brunswick, the following year remained the same. In 2006, the percentage of international students in these provinces experienced a significant increase. Interestingly, just Alberta witnessed a fall of 1.5 %.

A more detailed look at the graph reveals that, by 2001, majority of international students had graduated from universities in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, hovering at about 6.5%. While Quebec and Alberta had more than 5.5 % of those, other figures experienced less than 5 %. After five years, in 2006, New brunswick had the highest proportion of international students, amounting for approximately 12 %, followed by Nova Scotia and British Columbia, accounting for 10.5%. Afterwards those from Quebec hovered at 8.5%, while other figures saw less than 7 % in 2006.




ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jan 18, 2016   #2
Where is the picture? Picture is crucial to know whether your writing match the information or not. Do not forget there is an official warning in the forum if you forgot to upload the picture several or many times, your account will be suspended .

eight different provinces in Canadian between 2001 and 2006 is illustrated in the bar chart

should be Canada (place), Canadian (people of Canada), or Canadian Provinces (Provinces in Canada)

at glance your writing is already adequate, seems like presenting all the information, but again, i can't see the picture, it was just my assumption over your writing.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 18, 2016   #3
This is a highly detailed and by far, excellent interpretation of the information you were provided. The discussion is very interesting and the manner of data presentation is very impressive. You have managed to create a very authoritative summary report. Aside from my some grammar problems, I do believe that in an actual test, this would have scored rather highly for you.

Now for some corrections:
... the proportionAL changeS...
... in Canadian CANADA between
... those of International graduates STUDENTS...
the converse REVERSE would ...

... just Alberta witnessed

...than 5.5 % of those,.o Other figures experienced less than 5 %.
...New b Brunswick had ...
... amounting ACCOUNTING for approximately ...

This essay shows a great deal of improvement in your written and analytical English grammar skills. You have come a very long way since your first practice test. You should be ready to take the test in no time :-)


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