Essay task 1 : the change in percentage of people joinning in seven sports in an European country

summarise the information from the table

My Essay:
The table provide data on the percentage of people taking part in 7 sports in a country of Europe over a period of 10 years

It is clear that football is by far the most popular sport through out the period shown. Also, there was a gradually increase in the the proportion of people joining in 4 out of the 7 sports, namely Tennis, Swimming, Golf and Yoga

In 1999, football took up the largest proportion , at 57% and decreased slightly from 2004 to 2009, at 52% and 48% respectively but it remained the first out of the 7 sports . In addition, There was a steadily fall in the percentage of basketball players, by 1% every 5 years

Golf was the least popular sport in 1999, at 8% and Yoga was only 2% higher ,at 10%.However, the percentage of golf players rose to 13%,was 3% higher than Yoga over the following 5 years . It was noticeable that the figures of Golf and Yoga players rose to 17% and 13% in 2009 respectively but they were also the least favourite sports among 7 those names in the list over the 10-year period

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@ronaldocr9803
Hi. Welcome to the forum! I hope you find this feedback helpful. If you do, you can come back for more.

In general, I find that your writing needs a little bit work in terms of structure. Notice how you lacked the proper utilization of punctuation marks throughout. I would recommend being cautious of appropriate pauses. Observe the second paragraph. The two sentences were insufficient to comprise a paragraph. Try to stretch it out.

Your third paragraph had the same concerns. Remember that when you're connecting two sentences, you have to at least have a punctuation as a transitioner. Be cautious of this.

You can improve your writing more by simplifying your structures.