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The changes on elephant population in Asia



junearta 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2015   #1
Dear administrator,
Please help me to correct my Task 1 academic ielts and predict the score.
Below is my writing exercise:

The bar chart presents statistics of elephant population in nine Asian countries between 1997 and 2004. It clearly shows that the overall trend of elephant population in Asia dipped significantly between 1997 and 2004 especially in Thailand and Malaysia. However, it had slight increase in Cambodia.

The biggest population of Asian elephant in both years was found in India. It kept on the first rank of Asian elephant population by almost 10000 elephants in 1997 and approximately 7500 elephants in 2004. The next biggest elephant population country was Myanmar by approximately a half and two third of India's elephant population respectively in 1997 and 2004. The others were only below than one third of total population of elephant in India.

The three countries that had only small changes in the total amount of elephant population were Cambodia, Vietnam, and China. Cambodia and China had slight decrease about 50 and 500 elephants respectively. In contrary, Cambodia's elephant population increased slightly by only 100 elephants. On the other hand, Laos did not have any changes between those periods of year.

Thank you in advanced for your comment.


  • question statement


daveandrei 14 / 8  
Nov 29, 2015   #2
Hi, Juni.
Here's my suggestion.
Enjoy your day!


The bar chart presents statistics of an elephant population in the nine Asian countries between 1997 and 2004. ----------

I think it is better if you place the most attractive chart like India in introduction. A reader can easily find the most attractive one first.

The biggest population of the Asian elephant in both years was found in India.

The next biggest elephant population country was Myanmar by approximately a half and two- third (use hyphen in here) of India's elephant population respectively in 1997 and 2004.

The others were only below than one- third (use hyphen in here) of a total population of elephant in India.


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