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"Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director" - GRE argument essay

ghafarimahsa 15 / 41  
Aug 28, 2011   #1
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The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.
"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High school, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Salida school system."

The writer of argument recommends that in order to enhance musical program, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to manage the general music education programs. To support this recommendation the writer point out that his attempts led to win three regional band competitions and upgrading musical instrument at Steel City High School during the past five years. This argument rests on a series of unsubstantiated and controversial assumptions, which are discussed as follows.

The first problem with this argument is that the writer assumes that winning of three regional band competitions was due to management of Mr. Schade. However, there is no evidence to prove that these achievements actually happened because of him. For example, maybe the students of Steel City High School are so talented and in music and allot their time to rehearse at home. Perhaps these three competitions were for elementary musical students and they could be success easily among them.

Secondly, even if these three victories can be count as remarkable ones, the Saluda school board assume that upgrading the quality of musical instrument and other musical facilities was due to his music director. Perhaps the parents of students at Steel City School were so rich and donated a large amount of money for school renovation and upgrading musical instruments. Maybe the board of Steel City High School put money into musical activities for betterment of their performance in upcoming ceremonies. Or maybe Steel City High School is a music school and allot more money for musical activities, but the Sauluda school is an ordinary school which does not enough equipments to improve

Even assuming that all musical success and improvement of Steel City High school are attributed to Mr. Schade's attempts, the writer fails to consider possible differences between Steel City High and Saluda school. Maybe Steel High is a musical school with suitable facilities for their student and supports them in all respects, but Saluda is an ordinary one which they cannot afford the musical expenses. Perhaps the city which Steel City school is located is often regarded as the cradle of art and music and the residents pay more attention to the growth of music, but the dwellers around Saluda school have religious extremist beliefs who assume playing music as a inane activity.

Last but not least, writer assumes that things remain the same during the past five years. However, in most cases this is not true. Maybe nowadays, due to global economic recession, students prefer to study in money-making and guaranteed majors, such as medicine and people cannot afford to pay the high tuitions of music classes.

In the final analysis, the writer's recommendation cannot be taken to be correct because as it was shown in the body paragraphs above, it depends on a number of assumptions each of which is questionable. The recommendation can only be accepted if the weaknesses already referred to are all removed.

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