Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Writing Task 1 - The chart below ahows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European



tikafebriyani 1 / -  
Jul 18, 2024   #1
The line graph describes some European countries ratio of female members. Overall, the general trend was upwards, and the most popular members was Italy.

In 2000, the most popular ratio of female members of parliament was Germany, and the proportion of France was not as large as in Italy. Meanwhile, Belgium took up three times more female members than UK. In other hand, the percentage of Belgium and UK were a dramatic increase between 2000 and 2004, while the ratio of France, Italy, and Germany grew slightly to approximately 26 and 34.

The percentage of France, UK, Germany and Italy were a gradual climb, but the figure for woman attendees of assembly in Belgium made up a minimal decline between 2008 and 2012. Furthermore, the highest ratio of woman associates of parliament was Italy, while the lowest percentage was Belgium and UK in 2012. However, the proportion of woman participant of council in Italy was not as high as Germany.


  • Picture122.png


Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Jul 18, 2024   #2
The summary overview is inaccurate. It does not refer to female members only. It refers to the female members of parliament from 5 Euroeapn countries. The misstatement will result in Task Accuracy deduction in relation to the originally provided information. It creates an incorrect summary throughout that paragraph. Although you did correct it in the succeeding paragraph, the fact that the summary overview is inaccurate will result in a problematic, possibly failing score for your preliminary score. The lack of proper reference or listing of the 5 countries added to the problem at the start of the essay.

The ratio or numerical reference to the percentage of membership must be mentioned in each comparison paragraph because these were provided in the image. You cannot keep offering estimates in place of the figures because that creates a GRA scoring problem for your paper. It also means a lower C+C score will be applied since the paragraphs do not provide the supplied information as necessary for the reader to understand your analysis. Your essay will receive a failing score.
nadine_pf 1 / 1  
Jul 18, 2024   #3
I think once the information in your paragraph matches the information in the graph, you will be set. You are well written, and elaborate in a very professional manner.


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 - The chart below ahows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳