IELTS TASK 1 - The chart below gives information about science qualifications held by people

Please put your strong comment..Best Regard

QUESTION

The chart below gives information about science qualifications held by people in two countries.

ANSWER

The provided bar graph compare the percentage of science qualification held by people in Malaysia and Singapore. As is presented in the graph, no qualification in science gets the highest number of people in these country.

At a closer look to the figure, it can be seen that the lower percentage of people hold science qualification which is Master's Degree. It just approximately 5 % in Malaysia and Singapore. The condition of qualification same as these country. People hold Bachelor's degree in Malaysia 20 %. It is higher than Malaysia which gets 10 %.

In Malaysia, the participation to join leaving exams in science increases than in Singapore. Aproximately people reach 35 % in Malaysian and 30 % in Singapore. The Highest percentage is no qualification in science. We find in Malaysia up to 60 % till 65 % and in Singapore in 60 %

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Hi mr mao, here are my few suggestions, particularly on overview.

The provided bar graph compares the percentage of science qualification heldholds by people in Malaysia and Singapore inhabitants . As is presented in the graph, no qualification in science gets obtains the highest number of people in these both countries

A bit correction in a paragraph 2.
it can be seen that the lower percentage of people hold science qualification which is Master's Degree
Master's Degree in both countries experiences a lower percentage among others qualification.

Since there is no time period, I suggest you to use a simple present (I still find a past in your introduction) to avoid a misleading in writing. You also need to explain your statement clearly, since clarity is one of the essential aspects in IELTS. As such, you should recheck your sentences logic in order to generate a strong sentence.

Never mind, keep practicing!
I believe you can! Cheers!

Hi Mr. Mao, it is my feedback

- there are some grammatical errors in your writing practice, but @patricioo, @Novi have been corrected. So, my focus not in grammatical view.

-You have 3 paragraph in your writing, but I am not clear in third paragraph. Why you separate third with second paragraph? I think, two paragraphs are similar type and do not separate them.

- I suggest you to conclude the bar chart in third paragraph, maybe you tell about unique trend.
example: you can use proportion of bachelor's degree as a unique percentage because it have a dramatic number than the others.

be enjoy for your writing exercise next