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The chart illustrate detailed information about the reasons for students' choice of UK school

thanhngoc7404 1 / -  
Jun 4, 2021   #1

Writing task 1 - the pie charts analysis

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why students chose to study at a particular UK university in 1987 and in 2007.

The provided bar charts illustrate detailed information about the reasons for students' choice of UK university over a 20-year period from 1987.

Overall, the highest percentage of students indicated that university course suitability was the most concerning reason in both years. The distance to their parents' house became the second-most important factor when choosing a school after 2 decades.

In 1987, more than a third of students took degree courses into consideration (35%), while that figure for 2007 increased by 2%. Just over 20% was taken up by the number of pupils preferring the condition of the resources in 1987, which then went down to 17% later. That proportion for teaching quality witnessed an increment by 3% to 18% from 1897 to 2007.

Although the percentage of students' interest in extracurriculars accounted for nearly one-fifth of in 1987, it plummeted significantly to merely 6% and was at the least concern during the year of 2007. These statistics for the distance between residence and school, in contrast, rocketed from 10% to 22% and gained the second-highest position.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,712 3786  
Jun 5, 2021   #2
The provided bar

Incorrect image identification. The images are pie charts, not bar charts. Even the original descriptive sentence called the images pie charts. Expect TA deductions based on this serious error. Accurately identify the images at all times. This will require you to make the extra effort of familiarizing yourself with all task 1 images for probable task identification .

over a 20-year period

The images state 1 specific comparison years, not progressing years. Another form of incorrect data presentation, another TA and C + C deduction on your part due to inaccurate information.

The errors you present are already enough to assure you of a failing score and we haven't even gotten to the second paragraph yet. This is a very bad sign related to your analytical abilities which is the number 1 scoring requirement for this task.

2 decades

Again, there is no year on year comparison evident so you are really failing in the analytical aspect in a serious manner. You are improperly assessing the essay.

You seem to do better in writing direct data related to the percentages /proportions. Maybe because you did not have to analyze that information.
Jun 8, 2021   #3
"The provided bar charts", you should replace with "the charts"
"over a 20-year period from 1987", this phrase is not suitable for pie chart writing, you should use "in 1987 and 2007"
"while that figure for 2007 increased by 2%" you can also use another better way to explain trending like "which was followed by a slight increase by 2% in 2007%" or " before rising marginally by 2% in 2007"

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