'Childhood - being the loved one' - the happiest time

Hey everyone. i wrote this essay with time limitation which is 30 minutes. Please, feel free to read and leave your comments!!! thank you:)

When you ask people a question in what time do you want to go back and the answer would be childhood. Childhood is the time when you mostly enjoy your life. I totally agree with the given statement. I believe that this time of life is the most precious and sweet moments of every person in this world. First of all, it is the time when people are not obligated or responsible for someone or something which gives us pressure. For example, my childhood was about playing with my friends, traveling and going to entertainment places and enjoying my life as much as possible for what i am thankful for my parents. Second of all, i am sure that it is the time when you mostly feel the love and care of relatives and people. In my country we have a proverb which says that "Till the age of 10 the child is prince or princes and everyone should love and take care of them properly". Kids are always respected members and considered as an happiness of our life. Third of all, i can say that it is also time when you believe in magic like Santa clause, elves, angels, princesses and etc. I remember that I was never as enthusiastic as writing a letter to Santa and this is one of my best moments in my life. I think that many people have such kind of moments from their childhood. In conclusion, i suppose that many people will agree with the considered reasons above. Time when you mostly laugh, explore new things and being the loved one is Childhood. It is a time when you believe in magic.

i think your essay has a good classification...every thing is obvious...thesis statement,conclusion, and the factors that you want to write about it.

thank you for comments. I really appreciate it:)

For example, my childhood was about playing with my friends, traveling and going to entertainment places, and enjoying my life as much as possible for what iI am thankful for my parents.

I think you need the article (a) instead of (an) because the word (happiness) starts with a consonant sound not a vowel sound.
Kids are always respected members and considered as ana happiness of our life.

I think you need an article before the word (time)
Third of all, iI can say that it is also the time when you believe in magic

Second of all, iI am sure that

In conclusion, iI suppose that many

The pronounce (I) should be always written in the capital form.

I hope this will help
Good Luck

Thank you for correcting my mistakes:)