Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Should children be banned from using their phones during the school day?



huongggtra 1 / 1  
Jan 4, 2023   #1

phones ban at schools



In the ever-changing world, when technology and digital devices are playing a prominent role in people's lives, current children are believed to be the earliest generation to approach and grow up with these devices. When adults supposed that in the school, phones or tablets should be forbidden, I reckon that children should be allowed to use their digital devices in appropriate ways.

There are various reasons why phones should be stayed away from children, especially during the time they study at school. First of all, students easily to engrossed in recreational activities on applications on their phones when they use social media, playing games, chatting, without control. As a result, they will be distracted and can not concentrate on their work at school. Moreover, some unoffical information on the internet can exert a tremendous impact on students's ways of thinking and behaviour.

On the other hand, it is believed that children can utilize their time of studying when they can use their own devices. Some educational apps are helping pupils to acquire new knowledge by effectve ways. Not only that, social media activities can help children to make more friends, be more talkative and have more relationships when they can connect with people around the globe. It is also an efficient way for them to reduce their stress at school and unwind their mind.

In the final analysis, I reaffirm my conviction that phones and others technology devices can have both posiitive and negative impact on children's physical and mental health. To help them utilize the benefit of these devices, parents should talk more with their children and explain the merits and demerits of consuming phones.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jan 5, 2023   #2
This is an essay that requires 2 comparison points and several writer's opinion in its discussion development. Based on the way the restatement was presented along with the opinion s the response should have covered 3 paragraphs in the following format:

Par. 2: 1st public opinion reasoning + writer's point of view of the discussion.
Par. 3: 2nd public opinion reasoning + writer's opinion of this reason.
Par. 4: Writer's personal opinion + explanation.

While pronoun usage can be found in this essay, he is not referring to the correct audience with it He should use pronouns to indicate other people's opinions and his own. The current format does not really work based on the required discussion format. The approach is not really applicable since the comparative nature of the debate topic was not met. S how what is right and wrong with each public opinion.Then say whether you support it or not. Explain why. Present your personal opinion based on personal reasons if your opinion is not aligned with the public opinions provided. Your stand-alone opinion is optional. The main discussion surrounds the provided topics only. That is what the examiner will expect from the response of the exam taker.
SunilPal 2 / 2  
Jan 5, 2023   #3
Your essay looks great but you can also mention countries like India and China where phones are banned and they are excelling in education.
OP huongggtra 1 / 1  
Jan 7, 2023   #4
@Holt @SunilPal many thanks
glowstorm 1 / 2  
Jan 9, 2023   #5
This essay presents a balanced view on the use of phones in schools. it acknowledges the potential distractions and negative impacts that phones can have on students, but also points out the potential benefits that educational apps and social media can provide. The suggestion to involve parents in discussions about phone usage is a good one, as it promotes responsible use of these devices. you could give examples or cite some research to support your argument.


Home / Writing Feedback / Should children be banned from using their phones during the school day?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳