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IELTS-Should children cooperative spirit and a competitive mind



zchen1987 4 / 2  
Oct 10, 2010   #1
I am going to take my IELTS test two weeks later and I really appreciate your comments and suggestions.

Topic:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion..

Answer:
These days, people are having a hard time reaching consensus on whether children should be taught to have a sense of cooperation or a notion of competition. I will discuss both sides in this debate.

Those who insist that a sense of cooperation in children should be advanced have two reasons. First, it is beneficial to children's psychological health. Recently a research involved 300 or so primary school students shows that those who are more cooperative perform better in communicating with the others and so more popular among classmates while some who show intensive notions of competition suffered loneliness or even isolation to some extent. What's more, large-scale production and project,such as genetic engineering、manned space flight and environment protection, all demands for a spirit of teamwork and an ability of coordinating, which need to be cultivated from childhood.

Admittedly, competition becomes unprecedentedly stiff in present day and age. accordingly, there are many tend to think that a sense of competition should be developed as priority during childhood, otherwise children, when growing up to be adults, would have to encounter failure frequently. From my perspective, I will not deny the importance of individual competence. Nevertheless, we should be aware that no single person goes through with everything and never makes a mistake. Only in a united team can individual achieve his best because his or her drawbacks can be composited for by others. By that I mean, without a capacity of cooperating, one can hardly survive from the rat race.

In a nutshell, I believe both a cooperative spirit and a competitive mind are essential for a child; however, the former outweighs the later. Therefore, parents and teachers should pay more attention to instruct children how to cooperate with rather compete against each other.

dumi 1 / 6795  
Oct 12, 2010   #2
I think you write well. I'm just giving you another idea;

Learning to co-operate encourages children to be more thoughtful about others and also to be unselfish. In contrast, competition promotes children to be more self centered. Therefore, in my personal belief, competition should be introduced at a latter stage of childhood, not at very early stage because this may lead to a world of very selfish people who are not bothered about other's feelings. However, when children enter into adolescence they would be forced to compete with others for opportunities, resources, achievements etc. At this stage, they should be encouraged to be ambitious so that they would compete for their accomplishments. Since they have already learnt the worthiness of co-operation, this type of competition would constructively contribute towards the society.
OP zchen1987 4 / 2  
Oct 12, 2010   #3
thaitam, thank you very much for your checking.
I agree with most of your modification. It really helps a lot.

In the last sentence: "parents and teachers should pay more attention to instruct children how to cooperate with rather compete against each other", I did miss out the world 'than' here.

I change the word "composited " to "made up" . "Only in a united team can individual achieve his best because his or her drawbacks can be made up by others."

I put the world 'can' before 'an individual' in this sentece in order to emphasize, which I think is a correct usage. Can you explain why you change the order?

Thank you, dumi.
I like both you idea and your style of writing.


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