[TOEFL] Children are rather free from most of regulations and obligations in this society

There has been an argument regarding the issue of whether childhood is happiest moment in one's life.
I am not sure how many people disagree with this,however, generally speaking, I believe that childhood is a happier time period than any other periods, unless a child have a hard time getting by without support from parents.

In this essay, I will present three reasons to support my idea.

First of all, children do not have to concern issues, in particular, regarding financial issues . As a person who considers that financial issue is the most complicated and stressful matter in a person's life, I think this is a huge advantage which can make children's life happier. For example, when I was a kid, If I wanted to buy a toy, I didn't have to pay for it, only thing I did was to ask my mom. Of course we can not compare this case to a whole living expenses, however it explains that parents will be responsible for living expenses of their children.

In addition to the support of financial issues, children are allowed to make a mistake. They will not be judged by social concept considering them to need love and care. If a kid drops a cup of water and someone gets wet in a restaurant, for instance, the person who got wet will be more generous than when an adult did the same thing. In fact, naturally kids are believed that they will learn from mistake and come out as an solid member of society being an adult.

Finally, parents encourage their children to have a good moment and fun. Since growing their children is the biggest duty and most joyful job as parents, parents will let their kids play and try to make them smile. To take a personal example, my mom always let me do whatever I wanted as I was a kid, and did not want to see me sad, even though my family was having a deep grief for a death of my relative.

by way of conclusion, based on the arguments exposed above. I am of the opinion that in most cases children are free from most of regulations and obligations in this society, hence with all these perceptions and supports from their parents, as we can see, people have the happiest time in their childhood.

...whether childhood is happiest moment is the happiest time in one's life.--- The way you used 'moments' here is not correct. I changed it so the grammar would be better.

I am not sure how many people disagree with this;however, generally speaking, I believe... I changed a comma to a semi-colon in this sentence, and now it is no longer a run-on sentence. Many native English speakers make this same mistake. We can't use 'however' in the middle of a sentence like that. The correct way to use 'however' in the middle of a sentence is like this:

The happiest times may be in childhood. The most fulfilling times, however, are in adulthood.
Or like this:
I am not sure how many people agree with this. Generally speaking, however, I believe...

Finally, parents encourage their children to have a good moment and fun. ---Use plural forms of the nouns when you have a sentence like this. Parents encourage children to enjoy good moments and fun.

I also see that you did not capitalize the first letter of the last paragraph.

: )

by way of conclusion, based on the arguments exposed above, I am of the opinion

While you did present good reasons to support your argument, you forgot to present the other side of the situation. The situation that dictates that although a child is free from obligation in society, a child is still expected to learn lessons from those around him. This is done when his mistakes, are corrected or when he is given a lecture in order to improve his attitude whenever necessary. While the obligation of a child is to enjoy his life, his age also dictates what regulations and obligations are slowly being expected of him in society. For example, a 6 year old child is already expected to be able to do simple household chores. You can also explain that children, although free from social responsibility for a long time, are given a very important task when they reach a certain age, He is given the responsibility of going to school and getting good grades while following the rules and obligations of a student.Society expects that of children more than any other regulations and obligations. So a child is only free of regulations and obligations in society to a certain degree.

Remember, in order to present an effective defense in your essay, you need to present both the pro and con side of the discussion. Or in this case, the side that sees the child as free from obligation, and the other side that sees children as having a totally different set of responsibilities in our society. I would suggest that you adjust your essay to reflect that as well before making your concluding statement :-)

Thanks guys.

Btw can someone change my title of post? I never wrote 'Children are rather free from most of regulations and

obligations in this society'