IELTS;Children are under increasing educational, social, and financial stress

Children are under increasing educational, social, and financial stress. Some people think this is a positive development. Do you agree?
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Currently, more students are suffered from overloading the stress from education, society and finance, which is believed as a positive development to make students achieve better academic performance by some individuals. However, as far as I concerned it is not a good idea to cultivate children by giving them too much stress. It is except that children are under a proper stress that make them work harder than their peers.

In terms of schooling, I admit that the stress, sometimes, can become a motivation to those children, who are going to work hard in order to get rid of stress. In addition, by exposing to stress, children might learn how to tackle the problems that they may meet during working life, which is a good practice on school before they start their real social life.

Unfortunately, some children complaint that they are indeed taking too much pressure from educational, social, and financial problems. It seems the pressure could not be released easily by themselves, regardless of what solutions they come up with. As a consequence of that, children are disappointed by their academic results that are caused by the stress, and entering a vicious cycle.

In my opinion, children are undertaken too much stress than what we expected. Sometimes the stress create a huge burden to children, if they can not deal with it properly. In order to have a healthy cycle in schooling, we should focus on how to cultivate the interests of study rather than pushing children forward just by giving them stress.

Currently, more students are suffered from overloading the stress from education, society and finance, which is believed as a positive development to make students achieve better academic performance by some individuals. ----------> Nowadays, increasing number of students are under undue stress and many believe that this helps them to perform better in academics.

However, as far as I concerned it is not a good idea to cultivate (children are not cultivated) raise children by giving them too much stress. -----------> I believe children should have a stress free environment.

It is except that children are under a proper stress that make them work harder than their peers.-----> It is not true that stress makes children work harder than their peers.

In terms of schooling, I admit that the stress, sometimes, can become a motivation to those children, who are going to work hard in order to get rid of stress.------->( I do not understand this sentence at all ) However it may be a motivator to perform better at school.

In addition, by exposing to stress, children might learn how to tackle the problems that they may meet during working life, which is a good practice on school before they start their real social life.------>( very long and confusing sentence) It may also help to develop problem solving skills in them, which will be useful later.

Unfortunately, some children complaint that they are indeed taking too much pressure from educational, social, and financial problems. --->Unfortunately, some children complaint that they have too much pressure due to educational, social and financial problems.

It seems the pressure could not be released easily by themselves, regardless of what solutions they come up with. -----> It seems to be very difficult to get rid of this pressure.

As a consequence of that, children are disappointed by their academic results that are caused by the stress, and entering a vicious cycle.------> As a result children are disappointed with their academic results, which results in further more stress and the vicious cycle continues.

In my opinion, children are undertaken too much stress than what we expected. ----> In my opinion children are taking too much stress, than expected.

Sometimes the stress create a huge burden to children, if they can not deal with it properly.-----> Sometimes stress creates a huge burden on children if they cannot delay with it properly.

In order to have a healthy cycle in schooling, we should focus on how to cultivate the interests of study rather than pushing children forward just by giving them stress.----> Focus should be on cultivating interest towards studies rather than forcing it on kids. This would lead to much better learning and performance.

Thanks, but I think some of sentences have to be long, otherwise it seems no enough words or low level.

describe about village and people life?
About Village-:
The soul of India lives in its villages, 60 percent of the population still lives in villages of India. Indian villages have a very beautiful and attractive lifestyle.The Villages are free from the hustle and bustle of a city life, villages are peaceful, calm, quite and full of greenery where one can breathe fresh air. The beauties of villages are described by the way villagers happily live in the small huts or a home, made by clay or mud. A big open area with trees at the front and a vegetable garden at the backyard, surrounded by the bamboos. The villagers are socially knit together, every evening they assemble in the village "Chopal" with their 'hukkas' and chatting and talking goes on till late the night.

Indian village house are Eco- friendly in nature, made by bamboos and mud's. The houses in Indian villages are mostly built of bamboo with thatched roofs. Wall and floor of the village houses are by painted by a mixture of dirt, grass, and cow shit. Before and after rain, these house need a maintenance every time. Most of the people who live in villages are farmers, other works as potters, carpenters, blacksmith. Bull's are use for farming and other activity in field. Women work planting the rice paddy, while the men work pulling bullock carts, tilling new soil etc.

The educational status of the people in the villages of India is not so good, some of the villages even don't have school. There are no water supply, no indoor toilets and no electricity. River water, well or hand pump are the main source of water. Life in the villages of India differ from one region to another, these Indian villages contain the list of famous tribal groups in India. The life style of villagers are very clean,sweet and simple. They don't dream for big house,vehicle,money etc, whatever they got that is enough to live their life happily.