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children's involvement in crime- ielts essay



handsome78boy 2 / 7  
Oct 9, 2014   #1
Recent figures show an increase in violent crime youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that basic reason for this is that children these days aren't getting the social and emotion learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's modern world, there are so many intractable problems associated with the prevalence of crimes committed by the youth. Some scientists feel that the underlying reason behind this complicity is the lack of moral support from parents while some are at odds with this position claiming that there are other factors which urge the youngsters to conduct in a bellicose way.

It is reported by some authorities that the number of crimes committed by juvenile delinquents is on the increase. First of all, evident is the fact that the children who are not under the supervision of adults are more likely to commit a crime than any other people. Hence, parents, who are responsible for taking care of their child, are to blame for this inconvenience. Furthermore, if parents limited the youth's freedom to some extent, by lifting restrictions on decadent activities, children would never perform wrongdoing actions.

In addition, what motivates the teenagers to behave maliciously are the fictional characters shown on films being produced on a large-scale. Watching the barbaric actions performed by actors, the youngsters' behavior will, of course, deteriorate spontaneously. Naturally, dealing with the companies that produce these kinds of films is the remit of the government rather than the individuals. Thus, I believe that the government is also responsible for children's involvement in crime.

By way of conclusion, I firmly believe that the basic reason for aforementioned issues is the lack of long-term moral support and the absence of parents in growing up a child

william731 18 / 43  
Oct 10, 2014   #2
Some scientists feel that the underlying reason behind this complicity is the lack of moral support from parents while some are at odds with this position claiming that there are other factors which urge the youngsters to conduct in a bellicose way

psychologists and Scientists are two different groups of people.
I think it would be better to put your opinion in the introduction part because you first metioned parents responsibility then you talked about govenment has the responsibility. I am not sure if you agree or disagree with the claim.

The prompt says" Some psychologists claim that basic reason for this is that children these days aren't getting the social and emotion learning they need from parents and teachers"

So i think you should talk about the role of teachers as well.
OP handsome78boy 2 / 7  
Oct 10, 2014   #3
Thank you for your comment... but, In the "agree/disagree" essays, the opinion of the writer is not given in the introductry part of the essay!!!!! regarding the word "scientists" the word scientist is a common word for all researchers whether they are psychologists, doctors or someone else.
william731 18 / 43  
Oct 10, 2014   #4
but, In the "agree/disagree" essays, the opinion of the writer is not given in the introductry part of the essay

Well, I was told that we should present our opinion at the beginning in the "agree/ disagree" essays.
Simon, the ex-IELTS examiner, also tells us to state personal opinions in the introduction in his blog.
CaptainCook 6 / 14  
Oct 10, 2014   #5
in your 3rd paragraph i've noticed that you mentioned the government. but the question is only regarding teachers and parents. so is it okay?
Vns9x 102 / 230  
Oct 10, 2014   #6
I think you should enhance the introduction, since it contains only 2 sentences. Try set it up to 3 sentences at least.
OP handsome78boy 2 / 7  
Oct 12, 2014   #7
Dude, it is not an opinion or solution essay to give to do like that!!!! in the agree/disagree opinion, writer's opinion is not given

I think you should enhance the introduction, since it contains only 2 sentences. Try set it up to 3 sentences at least.- the main reason is to give a brief information what the topic is gonna be... not to write 3 sentences.... 2 sentences are enough if it is coherent


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