WRITING TASK 2: CHILDREN SHOULD LEARN FOREIGN LANGUAGE AT PRIMARY RAHTER THAN SECONDARY SCHOOL

There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether children should study a second language at primary school instead of middle school. In this essay, I will explain why learning a different language in primary school is better for children.

Studying a second language at an early age creates a wide variety of benefits. To start with, children can broaden their horizons by studying language. Specifically, it helps them improve their memory skills, making remembering things in their day to day lives much easier. Evidently, bilingual children are much better at problem solving or concentration. Besides, children who study language are often more confident than those who don't, which means they develop better social skills.

On the other hand, some arguments can be made that children will have less time for playing and studying other subjects. But closer examination would reveal that children can still balance between studying and learning as long as they know how to manage their time correctly.

To conclude, both sides present strong arguments. Nevertheless, learning a second language in primary school is still the most beneficial.

P/s: This is the first time I have written an essay. Please feel free to point out my mistakes and score it if possible. I'm aiming for a band 7.0 and I want to know what my level is now and ways to improve it. Thx

You need to create a proper thesis statement. The examiner is not interested in what you will be writing, he will be interested to learn of your opinion, as integrated into the discussion topic. Deliver the reasons for your opinion rather than a repeat of the writing instructions. That will not be given any points and will instead, lower the score for that paragraph since the necessary information is incomplete.


This is a totally unnecessary sentence. Additional points are provided if you start your paragraph with an anchor sentence instead. The anchor sentence references the actual discussion topic that will be extended in consideration within the paragraph.


This is a single opinion essay, not a comparison essay. So you cannot deviate from defending your original opinion. The minute you deviate, your essay will get a failing score because your writer's opinion will become unclear to the examiner.

Hello,

I assume you write a task 2,so why you don't you write more? The limit word is 250 words and shorter than that limit will penalize you in deduction of score.

Other than that, I think that your first argument is ok. It has topic sentence, and supporting evidence. However, there are no specific example (like statistic, etc). Your essay is just too generic, and more details will give you a band 7 in task respons.

This part: -On the other hand, some arguments can be made that children will have less time for playing and studying other subjects. But closer examination would reveal that children can still balance between studying and learning as long as they know how to manage their time correctly.-

is very bad. You should rewrite it just like the first part. Follow this structure: topic sentence - supporting sentence - example - explain why example is related to your topic sentence.

Your conclusion is concise, but it would be stronger if you summarized your main points briefly before restating your thesis.

Lastly, your grammar is quite good.

To sum up, I think your essay will fall into band 4 or band 5. You can score yourself with the band descriptor provided by IDP.