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TOEFL Children should learn to manage their own money; views differ considerably


joyhu 9 / 22 5  
Jul 24, 2013   #1
Views differ considerably when it comes to the issue of children should learn to manage their own money at young age or not. Some people believe that learn to manage their own money when they are little is an important thing. While others think that there are so many different things means more to the children than managing the money. Both of the opposite arguments appear to be somewhat convincing and stand to reason. But my personal experience and actual observations of life have led me to conclude that children should learn to manage money at young age. The following are reasons why I agree with the idea.

First of all, once you see the stuff that you really like, if you manage your own money well, it is more likely that you would have extra money to buy the things you want. Take myself as an example, I used to save a part of my money in case. While my old brother, who has totally different views of managing money from me. He always spends all of the money on his hand. One day, when we were shopping, my brother saw a jacket that he really likes, but it costs a lot. Since he didn't have enough money, we discuss it for a while. Then, I lend some to him. This lesson taught us that with some extra money around could give us more convenience.

Second, when it comes to some serious problem, this time I found out how important managing money is. One day, my family suffers a big financial problem, and my parents need some money to cover the hole. At that moment I am so glad that I have the habit of saving some money and having some stocks. So, I sold some of the stocks and the founds plus some cash. And lend it all to my parents to help them to cover the difficulty. While my brother could do nothing but some helpless works.

In conclusion, given the reasons described above, when the advantages and disadvantages of managing money are carefully compared, the most striking views is obvious. It may be safe to arrive the conclusion that learn to manage your money at young age is important.

brtsnck 3 / 7 1  
Jul 24, 2013   #2
Views differ considerably when it comes to the issue of children should learn to manage their own money at young age or not. Some people believe that learn to manage their own money when they are little is an important thing. While others think that there are so many different things means more to the children than managing the money. Both of the opposite arguments appear to be somewhat convincing and stand to reason. But my personal experiences and actual observations of life have led me to conclude that children should learn to manage money at young age. The following are reasons why I agree with the idea.

When we look all the essay, we don't see essay's rules and essay isn't suitable according to essay formats.
dumi 1 / 6,976 1592  
Jul 26, 2013   #3
. Some people believe that learn to manage their own money when they arelittleyoung is an important thing. While others think that there are so many different things means more to the children than managing the money.

... connect these two sentences with "while" . Also, you don't have to use synonyms all the time to replace the words in the prompt. Use the most appropriate word in your sentences.

First of all, once you see the stuff that you really like, if you manage your own money well, it is more likely that you would have extra money to buy the things you want.

... what's the main point (the real reason why you back a certain position) here? You should start with that!
First, one should know how to handle money wisely and productively to get the maximum benefit of it.
Pahan 1 / 1,944 553  
Jul 27, 2013   #4
Second, when it comes to some serious problem, this time I found out how important managing money is.

This is a poor sentence. You need to tell the second reason to justify your position. First tell the reason and then support it with the example.

Secondly, a person should know how to handle money intelligently in order to avoid serious financial constraints.

In conclusion, given the reasons described above, when the advantages and disadvantages of managing money are carefully compared, the most striking views is obvious. It may be safe to arrive the conclusion that learn to manage your money at young age is important.

This is a poor conclusion. Make the final statement about your position more directly and clearly. Avoid unwanted stuff and tell it out firmly.
Sacredhoop56 1 / 10 4  
Jul 28, 2013   #5
My first question is where do you stand on the subject. Are you in favor or against it?
Secondly, follow formatting rules to an essay and list the reasons for or against. Firstly, I am in favor of (reasons why), next paragraph, In continuation, (next reason why), Lastly, (reason why) and final paragraph the synopsis of your standing
hanyoojung 3 / 16 2  
Jul 28, 2013   #6
You should stand on one side more firmly,, It sounds like you're on both sides.


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