Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS essay, should all children's leisure activities be educational?



my88626 8 / 12  
Dec 3, 2012   #1
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational; otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree??

Today, many parents want their children's leisure activities to have educational component, while their kids may just want to play during their leisure time. I disagree with this philosophy of education. There are several categories of leisure activities which can both match the parent's expectations, so children can enjoy with fun.

Education does not only means attending courses and finish assignments at school, it's quite important for children to devote sufficient time for the overall personality development. For example, attending some sports activities like basketball and soccer can provide a host of benefits including physical activity, new friends and sense of teamwork. Children will gain personal rewards as well as learning new skills. Parents can bring their kids to some music concert or art museum, kids who learn how to appreciate art can improve their artistic taste and life quality in the future. What's more, playing some games which suitable to children also practice their reaction force and sensitivity. One of the most popular game named "Sodoku" can practice children's logical thinking as well as enjoy the funny game.

Overall, children can learn important social skills by taking part in different kinds leisure activities. It's also a good chance for them to cultivate their interest for a long term.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 3, 2012   #2
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational; otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree??

quote=my88626]Today, many parents want their children's leisure activities to have educational component, while their kids may just want to play during their leisure time. I disagree with this philosophy of education. [/quote]

Compare your prompt and the your first statement... Your statement covers only a part of the prompt . i.e. some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational... However, you dont cover the other part, i.e. they think that anything which does not contain an educational component is a waste of time is not implicated by saying kids love only fun. So as the reader, I have a question , what you don't agree with.

Try to set up a good alignment with your prompt always.... It's very important for this task : )


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, should all children's leisure activities be educational?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳