Unanswered [9] / Urgent [0] / SERVICES

Writing Feedback   Posts: 3

Should children always obey their parents' counsel?

cao1km 8 / 15 5  
Apr 12, 2018   #1

advices from parents should be respected

In fact, the obedience of children to their parents is usually applauded. However, should children always obey their parents' counsel? I find that "yes" can be the answer in just some situations.

Firstly, the consultation of parents is always worth considering. Parents are grown-ups, who have lots of experiences in life and they usually know what is legal or illegal, ethical or unethical? Parents educate children with love. They give advices because they think that is the best choice for their daughters or sons. Thinking about these advices gives children an opportunity to reevaluate their decisions before action. For example, a child without experiences can find that gamble is so interesting; however, a wise and caring father may give his little boy a persuasive warning to stop the child from doing wrong things.

In another side, parents' advices are not right in all cases. For example, a boy can not obey the arrangement of his father about his love as well as his career. If he has an amazing voice and desires to be a singer, the father should not stop him and force him to be a dentist. Building fence between a person and his passion can make him unfortunate and regret.

Therefore, how could we find a resolution whenever parents and their children have disagreement? The answer is "conservation and persuasion". Parents convince their daughters/sons by sufficient evidence such as laws, the story of their own or their acquaintances. Children persuade their parents by the talent, some small achievements they achieved in contests, some express of sincere love as well as passion, some good characters of their lovers. Then the family together choose the best thing to do.

In conclusion, children and their parents should usually have conversations to find what a child had better do. If the advices of parents are not reasonable, it will be necessary for a child to convince their parents. In other cases, talking the parents' advices is a good choice.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,660 1998  
Apr 14, 2018   #2
Hang, what type of essay are you writing exactly? I am not sure if this is a TOEFL or IELTS test because you did not provide the exam name and full prompt that you are responding to. I know that you are asking for writing feedback but I cannot offer definitive feedback unless I know what the essay you have written is for. Even without that information though, I have some comments for you to consider. The first of which is with regards to your opening statement. By opening the paragraph with the phrase "In fact," that indicates that you offered a series of sentences prior to that which connect with this new information being presented. Without that information, you appear to be starting the discussion in the middle instead of presenting a proper opening presentation. That will definitely be very bad for your scoring considerations. Also, you pose questions within the essay but do not have enough space within which to accurately respond to these rhetorical presentations. Avoid rhetorical presentations because these tend to make the writer deviate from the original topic or, you simply do not have the space within which to properly respond to the self imposed questions. These will be another set of reasons why you will receive points deductions, regardless of the exam type.
OP cao1km 8 / 15 5  
Apr 14, 2018   #3
I really appreciate all your comments. Actually, that is an exercise I read from an IELTS Preparation book for beginners. The topic is "Children should always follow their parents' advice. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?" Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience."

I have just started learning English for a short time. It is very valuable for me to receive such constructive comments. Thank you very much!

Home / Writing Feedback / Should children always obey their parents' counsel?