Children should be required to help with household tasks.

Please review my Toefl ibt essay. Thanks a lot!

DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT?
Children should be required to help with household tasks.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In my opinion, it is imperative to involve children in household chores. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, housework equips children with essential skills, which is beneficial to them in the future. By contributing to daily tasks and helping out around the house, kids learn to master housekeeping skills, which enables them to be more independent when they grow up and finally move out. Take my sister's experience as an example, three years ago, she moved to another city to pursue college education. Living away from parents presented a challenge as she had to deal with all the problems on her own. Nevertheless, since my sister was familiar with household chores from an early age, she had no difficulty keeping her new house running smoothly. She was able to cook for herself instead of eating out, which saves her a great amount of money. Furthermore, she can handle daily tasks such as doing the laundry, ironing or washing dishes with ease. She found her housekeeping skills extremely useful because it made her life much easier in many ways.

Secondly, assigning regular chores to kids also reinforces their respect for parents and teaches them accountability. Children tend to behave irresponsibly without thinking about the consequences of their actions. Requiring them to take part in household tasks helps them realize the importance of all the hard work that their parents do around the house. For instance, my younger brother used to have the habit of leaving all his toys behind for others to pick up after playtime. Thus, my parents decided to involve him in household chores, including cleaning the house twice a day, taking out the garbage, tidying his room and setting the table before meals. Sometimes, my brother felt exhausted after completing the tasks. He gradually understood that chores require a great deal of time and effort and realized all the burdens that his parents had to take on. As a consequence, he started to act more responsibly and develop greater respect and appreciation for his parents.

In conclusion, I believe that it is crucial to assign housework for children. This is because housework not only provides them with skills that better prepare them for future life but also increases their respect for parents and teaches them responsibility.

You should paraphrase your rubric before stating your opinion
I think you should write your article conciser or else you might can't manage to write 388 words in the test punctually (but if you can, this passage is incredible coherent and convincing to me)

The TOEFL test does not require a prompt paraphrase so do not bother to paraphrase the original discussion. For the TOEFL essay, you can actually just make a reference to the original topic and then start an immediate discussion of your reasons in the first paragraph. You should really try to limit your writing to 3 paragraphs so that you can focus on polishing your content in terms of grammar and explanation so that you can get a higher overall scoring consideration based on the TOEFL scoring requirements.

There is however, a standard requirement for both the TOEFL and IELTS tests. That requirement is that a full paragraph presentation must be made in the introduction and concluding paragraph. You need to have at least 3 sentences in those presentation paragraphs. The introduction should properly introduce the topic and your direct response. The next paragraph, explains your opinion. Then the conclusion should neatly wrap up the discussion you just presented.

Please remember that the length of your essay, is not as a important as making sure that you have a clean essay for scoring. By a clean essay, that means, you properly edited your essay for spelling, grammar, clarity, and conciseness issues. All of these essays are evident in your presentation and will sadly, prove to be the reason why your final score will not be as impressive as it could have been.