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Writing Task 2 Children's Unhealth Lifestyle and Parents/Schools responsibility



badafebriani17 34 / 41  
Oct 25, 2016   #1
Nowadays, many children under five year old are experience lifestyle which is not appropriate for their health such as consume unhealthy food. There are some people that say kindergarten and parents have responsibilities for what that happen with their children.

I totally agree that parents and schools have responsibilities to solve their problem. For example, when they consume unhealthy meals in their schools. It is necessary to be aware because almost whole time in a day they spend in their schools and houses. In this case, actually parents and teachers are role mode for their children with they have a job to improve the capability of kids. For example, the parents can learn how to sort quality foods, such as fish, vegetables and fruits. And also teachers can give some advise or information to improve their knowledge about the foot that contain with high nutrition.

On the other hand, there are many parents and teachers that have not given what is should be children accepted by both. Because their parents have busy activities and less time to choosing their meals, so they kids just accept the food that prepared by their assistance.

Besides, in the school children have not lesson about what the healthy food and what kinds. Because there is no person can give they the information about healthy food. So, i think the both have responsibility and to solve this problem, but there are other sectors that have responsibility in increase health behavior of children, such as the government especially The Ministry of Health. The governments have a responsibility to promote health lifestyle of children. They can give some speech to the children about the healthy food and the benefits. So children can know and change their habit to eat health meal. Besides, the governments can give a training for teachers and parents about healthy behavior especially for children. Because if they don't consent about it may children will decrease their health quality.

In conclusion, the parents and teachers have important position and responsibility to solve their children's habit especially in consume unhealthy food. But also they need other sector such as health promoter that can improve their knowledge about basic of health in lifestyle and behavior that can increase their health of degree.

Wilyaftika23 46 / 31  
Oct 25, 2016   #2
1. be careful with spelling
the food that contain with high nutrition
2. be careful with grammatical sentence:(subject+verb+agreement)
... that have not given what children should accept by both
3. avoid repetition word
--------> unhealthy : you can change with unhygienic
4. consistent with you word or you must explain before you use the word
------> schools > teachers (you didn't tell who teacher before you use in the next sentence
5. be careful TO(Infinitive)
less time to choose their meals


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