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Chris Aderson - several sciences experiments discovery

andika08 81 / 80 16  
Nov 17, 2016   #1
TED Summary : How simple ideas led to scientific discovery

There was an explanation about several sciences experiment by Chris Aderson. Firstly, Richard discovers about the Inertia. It was an experience when he was child that about a ball to the back of wagen. Secondly, Erastothenes measures the distance between Sweden and Alexandria to find out the diameter of Earth. Thridly, Galileo sets up an experience about light, he calculates the speed of light by a piece of equipment. However, he cannot get the result as it was too fast. Moreover, Armand F. finishes the previously discovery. All in all, with the invention by scientist , it would change the worlds.
Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 17, 2016   #2
HI, let me gives several suggestions for you.
1.There was an explanation about several sciences ( science is uncountable) experiments ( you should put s,plural) by Chris Aderson.
2. Firstly, Richard discovers about the Inertia. It was an experience when he was child that about a ball to the back of wagen
3.Thridly ---> miss spelling word
4.you need to put some conjunction words to make the flow smoothly. Personally, it looks like you put so many main idea without supporting sentence andan example to make the reader view's clear about your summary.

Keep writing and break a leg!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,787 4778  
Nov 17, 2016   #3
Andika, here is a tip for when you are writing these sorts of essays, always use the full name of the person you are referring to because that helps to better identify the person and use the name recall for the readers who may know what you are talking about. It would add to their interest in learning more about what you are summarizing. Also, when you say that Chris Aderson is explaining several science experiments, make sure that you involve him throughout the summary by using terms such as "Aderson first referred to the experiment by Richard who...". Then say "He also called attention to the experiment of Erasthones that measured...". Conclude by saying "Finally, Aderson also made mention of Galileo whose experiment with..." You need to make sure that Aderson constantly connects the summary discussion in order to help the reader keep track of the topic. By the way, the term is "wagon" not "wagen". You also need to clarify what that experiment is all about because the way you explain it is difficult for the reader to understand. Remember, anytime the reader is stressed by what you wrote, you will lose points for it. Your conclusion specially needs cleaning up. What you meant to say is that " Scientific inventions would change the world." Pay attention to the way you develop your sentences. Make sure it is always clear and understandable to the reader.

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