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IELTS TASK 1; Cinema attendance in the UK


upinipin 32 / 49 1  
Apr 10, 2014   #1
The chart illustrates british attendance in cinema. persentation of age group in five yaers. the line graph shows percentageof each age of british in every year who attend the cinema.

In general, it can b seen to the graph taht the number of british who attend the cinema increased slowly from 1990 to 2010.

in 1990 to 2000, aged 14 to 54 the graph relative fluctuated. instead aged 14 to 54 decline sharply. in 1995 to 2000, probably this is caused by decreasing of production film as long as this years. since year 2000 to 2010 the graph rose sharply, speciallly in aged 44 to 54. though aged 24 to 34 the graph remained reasonably steady but it is not give big affect to the aged other graph.

overall, cinema attendance in the UK rose shaprhly in all the time of years from 1990 to 2010.




eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,204 469  
Apr 10, 2014   #2
shaprhly

other graph

five yaers. the line

can b seen

percentageo

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MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Apr 10, 2014   #3
The chart illustrates british attendance in cinema. persentation of age group in five yaers. the line graph shows percentageof each age of british in every year who attend the cinema.

Your introduction should be clear and simple. It seems that these two sentences depict the same meaning.
The line chart compares the percentage of British people of four age groups who went to the cinema from 1990 to 2010.

In general, it can b seen to the graph taht the number of british who attend the cinema increased slowly from 1990 to 2010.

Overall, there was a gradual increase in the proportion of cinema attendance of all groups, with the exception of a slight decrease between 1995 and 2000. Likewise, younger people were more likely to go to the cinema than the older groups.

in 1990 to 2000

From 1990 to 2000

aged 14 to 54 the graph relative fluctuated. instead aged 14 to 54 decline sharply

I don't get your idea here.

probably this is caused by decreasing of production film as long as this years

You don't need to give an interpretation from the data so this part could be removed.

cinema attendance in the UK rose shaprhly in all the time of years from 1990 to 2010.

This is not accurate as cinema attendance experienced a drop from 1995 to 2000.
Also, you should pay attention to your grammar and the clarity of your sentences.
Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
Apr 10, 2014   #4
In general, it canb seen to the graph taht the number of british who attend the cinema increased slowly from 1990 to 2010.

Hi...upinipin, what do you mean in this paragraph? I think you should look again sister :)
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Apr 10, 2014   #5
The chart illustrates british attendance of British people in cinema from the year 1995 to 2000. persentation of age group in five yaers. the line graph shows percentageof each age of british in every year who attend the cinema.
BOMAT_IRA 29 / 40  
Apr 11, 2014   #6
The chart illustrates british attendance in cinema. persentation of age group in five yaers. the line graph shows percentageof each age of british in every year who attend the cinema.

Miss... actually, I must more learn too.. :)
play attention >> to grammar and punctuation mark..
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 11, 2014   #7
In general Overall, it can be seen to the graph tahtthat the number of britishBritish citizens who attended the cinema had increased slowly fromduring the period 1990 to 2010 though there had been several fluctuations during the said period.

inIn 1990 to 2000, aged 14 to 54 the graph relative fluctuated.

in 1990 to 2000, aged 14 to 54 the graph relative fluctuated.

This is a pretty confusing sentence and it does not deliver any clear idea. I think you should remove this sentence from your essay.
ernhy 17 / 28  
Apr 13, 2014   #8
persentation of age group in five yaers .

years

the line graph shows percentageof each age of british in every year who attend the cinema.
Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
Apr 13, 2014   #9
the line graph shows percentageof each age of british in every yearwho attend the cinema.

Hi... upinipin
I think you should look again about using conjunction who.
:)


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