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Many cities have become less pleasant place to live/ Problem & my suggestions



Madina S 3 / 2  
Apr 5, 2013   #1
Nowadays, many cities have become less pleasant place to live.What is problem? What is your suggestion?
A lot of people live in cities. Everyone likes living in the city or countries. It is undeniable that amount of people who live in the cities is increasing. However, many cities have become less pleasant place to live because of some reasons.

The first reason is pollution. Nowadays, there are many cars in the roads and factories in areas of cities. The number of cars and factories is increasing year by year. They produce different types of smog. It effects to peoples' health, lifestyle, for example, some people suffer from breathing or other health problems. In other side of this condition is noise, old people don't like noise, they need calm and it can influence to their mood or in the night someone can not sleep. To solve trouble of cars and factories government has to build parks in countryside and create new tax to driver in cities. In this way, drivers can leave their cars in parks. Moreover, they begin using public transport and it is useful for government because it is profitable. Doubtless, it helps to diminish the huge number of cars in the roads. About factories, government has to move them to place which the number of population is the lowest so the harm of factories is reduced.

The second one is unfriendliness among neighbors, which is the worst habit in our life. Neighbors do not speak to each other or do not help each other. People live in one place many years although they don't know with whom they dwell and when people move to new place, they feel lonely because they don't know other neighbors. In situation of unfriendliness, government has to build backgrounds. Neighbors go to walk alone or with their children. It is possible they get to know each other and in this way they make friendship with other neighbors. Moreover, everyone should be more attentive to each other. For example, if your neighbor is new, you have to help him/her or to be adapted to this place.

The next one is crime. Amount of crime is rising year by year; it is every country collides with this problem. Many people don't feel safety at their homes or in the street.Cities' condition is very comfortable for crime because there are many people who are and live in the cities. For example, you are waiting for bus, in this moment pickpocket can bring your wallet. One cannot deny that you don't feel it. Why did it happen? Because there are many people around you. In this case government should enhance amount of time for imprisonment and punishment. It is very clear from observations that people begin to be afraid of being in prison for long time and number of murder, stealing and other bad things is decreased.

Government's figure is very important in the space of solution of these problems. However, to solve these kinds of problems we shouldn't consider only to government. We should try to solve them ourselves or help to government to do it because we are responsible for our life.

250 words.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Apr 6, 2013   #2
Everyone likes living in the city or countries.

... this sentence sounds meaningless... what do you really mean? Your idea is not conveyed properly

. It is undeniable that amount of people who live in the cities is increasing. However, many cities have become less pleasant places to live because of some reasons.

.... These sentence do not have any link between them and look too independent. Your essay needs to have a good flow of ideas. They need to flow through well through logical sequence. This is what I suggest for your introduction;

A lot of people live in cities because cities are capable of offering them many opportunities. However, this reason has made cities a much congested places with large populations that they cannot really accommodate. Therefore, I agree that the cities have become less pleasant places to live today. ... Here I maintain a connection between each line with the other. It's important in an essay .


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