Toefl; CITY OR COUNTRY? Which place is more appealing for living?

Ind 3. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In Korea, Seoul is the most biggest city in the country, and it's about half a population of the country. Many people's choice makes it clear that actually it is convenient to live in city than a small town considering job offers, shops or etc. So I prefer to live in a big city. To live in a small town gives people romantic feeling, however it is hard to live along realistically. Firstly, job offers are more easy to be get than small towns. Secondly, the distance for shops in small town is farther than shops in the city.

First of all, to live a life, people need jobs, and a city offers them better than a small town. In a small town, there are jobs like farming or catering cows are common, and it doesn't supply sufficient numbers of job vacancies. Only for their sons or known people could get job offers. In contrast, a city offers limitless kinds of job offers and the many numbers of vacancies. Also, developement of the economy in a city makes it possible to hire more employee than a small town without firing. The industrial composition of a small town is hard to increase in quantity drastically.

Secondly, to live a life, shopping is very important, and in a city, people could go shopping more easily than rural places. It's everyday life and no matter how the person is sacred or strong, person should at least eat to live on. Also, people should buy wearables for normal life. Also other instruments like spoons, papers, or supplies are needed for being a human not an animal. In a city the average distance to the shop is 400m, however in a small town, the average distance to the shop is about 5km according to the Korean government. Also, thinking that the public transportation is better in a city than a small town, the actual time and money to go to the shop is more economical and time reducing in a city than a small town. In a small town they must use their own vehicle or have to wait 1 more hour to take a bus.

In summery, for a living, the real life problem is important, so I prefer to live in a city rather than in a small town. The first reason is that a city offers more jobs than a small town. The second reason is that in a small to go to a shop is a very time consuming thing. However in the future, in a small town, there will be a job offer and a market distance would be nearer also because of development of technology of information and transportation. So the trend would be change into the preference of urban lives according to development of technology.

I think you've written a good essay but you should work to increase your word count for the TOEFL writing.

Thank you Mr.
Would you mind to recommend vocabulary books or lists for writing?
It would be helpful so much :)

I am a bit confused with your main paragraphs because your ideas are jumping from the side in favor of big city
to the opposing side, small towns. I think it would help if you begin both paragraphs with a strong opening sentence, then followed
by a comparison and example.

Your conclusion should be a closing trend. In your last paragraph, it looks like you have introduced a new idea
leaving the reader into a questioning state.

hope this helps...

Your prompt speaks about city and country in general. So, when introducing your prompt, don't narrow down its scope to a particular city. Use this as an example to convince the reader about your opinion.

.... farming includes growing crops and raising livestock (e.g. cattle, chicken etc.)


Actually, the reason here is that villages offer limited job opportunities which are mostly traditional streams like farming, fishing etc. However, the city offers more diverse job opportunities due to various urban requirements. So, try to tell this reason to the reader by giving more prominence to the core of it.