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The city which I enjoy the most is a combination of history and modernity - TOEFL essay



appleguo 1 / -  
Nov 7, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for the government to spend money on new buildings than to preserve historic or traditional buildings and homes

The city where I was born used to be of a great antique beauty, which was surrounded with by lots of ancient style buildings. Unfortunately, the unstoppable trend of urbanization makes me only appreciate parts of those classic buildings in the pictures or in museums. In order to prevent the disappearance of the historic buildings, some citizens suggest the government to spend money on historic buildings. As far as I am concerned, we should do our parts to do what ever it takes to protect old buildings, letting next generations still have a chance to look at them. Here are some reasons and examples to illustrate my viewpoint.

Historic buildings have intrinsic values, because they are significant symbols of a city. Old buildings are reminders of a city's culture and complexity. By seeing historic buildings -- whether related to something famous or recognizably dramatic, people are able to witness the aesthetic and cultural history of an area. For example, when somebody mentions Beijing, China's capital city, you will immediately have Capital Palace come to appear in your mind, because it is the most remarkable sign of the city, and also it is the inevitable history of Beijing, even the entire China. Depending on the study of Capital Palace, researchers have a comprehensive understanding of the history and the culture.

Furthermore, historic buildings make our lives more colorful, provide places for citizens to relax bodies and minds. The city is occupied with an abundance of modern houses and and high buildings which make it crowded, and no rooms for people to relax themselves. However, the warmth of the materials ,the heart pine, marble, or the old brick, all those old buildings features call back of our inner peace. lying under the roof of a historic building or sitting on the desk fill with history are both easy ways to forget life's little annoyance and feel peaceful.

Meanwhile, historic buildings can be a source of maintenance fees. There are many historic buildings, such as Beijing Place, Shanghai Artist Museum, they are all able to support themselves financially by charging tens of thousands of tourists. Our governments will be happy with those efficient consequences, and a majority of cities also can imitate this economical cycle.

Overall, I believe that the city which I enjoy the most is a combination of history and modernity. However, the preservation of old buildings is a one-way street. There is no chance to renovate to save a history site once it's gone. This reality brings us to light the importance of locating and saving old buildings of historic significance. Therefore, government should spend money on preservation of old buildings.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Nov 7, 2014   #2
The city where I was born used to be of a great antique beauty, which was surrounded with by lots of ancient style buildings. Unfortunately, the unstoppable trend of urbanization makes me only appreciate parts of those classic buildings in the pictures or in museums. In order to prevent the disappearance of the historic buildings, some citizens suggest the government to spend money on historic buildings. As far as I am concerned, we should do our parts to do what ever it takes to protect old buildings, letting next generations still have a chance to look at them. Here are some reasons and examples to illustrate my viewpoint.

- Excellent introduction! Save for some edits that I am suggesting, I feel that this is a very strong start to the essay.

Historic buildings have intrinsic values, because they are significant symbols of a city. Old buildings are reminders of a city's culture and complexity. By seeing historic buildings -- whether related to something famous or recognizably dramatic, people are able to witness the aesthetic and cultural history of an area. For example, when somebody mentions Beijing, China's capital city, you will immediately have Capital Palace come to appear in your mind, because it is the most remarkable sign of the city, and also it is the inevitable history of Beijing, even the entire China. Depending on the study of Capital Palace, researchers have a comprehensive understanding of the history and the culture.

- have the Capital palace... Beijing and China. and culture of the Chinese people .

Furthermore, hH istoric buildings make our lives more colorful, and provide places for citizens to relax bodies and minds. The city is occupied with an abundance of modern houses and and high buildings which make it crowded, and no rooms for people to relax themselves. However, the warmth of the materials ,the heart pine, marble, or the old brick, all those old buildings features call back of our inner peace. lying under the roof of a historic building or sitting on the desk fill with history are both easy ways to forget life's little annoyance and feel peaceful.

- This is a strong and very compelling argument on your part.

Meanwhile, hH istoric buildings can be a source of maintenance fees. There are many historic buildings, such as Beijing Place, Shanghai Artist Museum, theywhich are all able to support themselves financially by charging tens of thousands of tourists. Our governments will be happy with those efficient consequenceseconomic earnings , and a majority of cities also can imitate this economical cycle.

- You have obviously researched and thought out your answers very well :-)

Overall, I believe that the city which I enjoy the most is a combination of history and modernity. However, the preservation of old buildings is a one-way street. There is no chance to renovate to save a history site once it's gone. This reality brings us to light the importance of locating and saving old buildings of historic significance. Therefore, government should spend money on preservation of old buildings.

- You need to separate the part about the government spending money on the preservation of old buildings as the concluding statement. You currently present a new idea and suggestions in this paragraph which violates the essay writing rules. You are not allowed to present new ideas in the conclusion. So you need to rework this part.
softball16 2 / 16  
Nov 7, 2014   #3
I feel that you know in which direction you want to go with in this particular essay which is good! It means that you truly care about what you are writing and persuading us about and because you demonstrate the significance with these historic buildings it makes you're essay that much powerful. Although you do explain how these historic buildings are essential maybe it will help writing about a very significant experience you had with one of these buildings and how you came into sudden realization that we should do whatever it takes to preserve the history of where you are from. I totally agree with you in the direction of your essay, I am obvious not so good at helping out with grammar and sentence structure but I feel you should just add a little more about yourself and the relationship with these historic buildings to make it more compelling to your reader.
Vns9x 102 / 230  
Nov 7, 2014   #4
Firstly, congrats your essay contain lots of knowledge and information about historical buildings which is a huge plus for you.
However, i think that it would be better if you follow a 4 body paragraphs' essay instead of a 5 one.


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