Can you help me to fix my essay, Thanks
TOPIC: Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or demolish them and replace them with modern buildings?
conservation of historical buildings
Some people belive architecure that we should destroy traditional .How ever, I think we need to protect them.
First of all, the old buildings where have historic value. They saved culture, beutiful of live, value of people during centurys. Especially, some countrys seen been during wars where people to commerate the soldiers as heros was pass away for independently, so the old building remind humans about memory value of history. For example, In Viet Nam, On April 30, 1975, the 390th tank of the liberation army was pounded at the palace of the reunification Palace. President Duong Van Minh's cabinet surrenderd unconditionally. The pupet goverment(South Vietnam) officially collapsed.
Second, by preseving historical buildings a city can attract many travellers. Welcoming tourists a ity get many benefis including money, which can be spent on preserving historical buildings as well as on improving roads and facilites. Every city has its own tradition and history which is refected through the art and creation of the building mostly. Destroying those heritage means destroying the old value and history.
Also, Old buildings are real examples for educational young people to help them understand more value, culture, lifestyles of previous generation to give them more motivation to live a good life.
To sum up, i belive that preserving old, historical buildings can bring only benefits to a city and all humankind.
Some people belive architecure that ...How ever, I think we ...
This is not a complete sentence. "some people believe architecture" is subject, your relative clause modifies the subject but the main verb for the subject is missing. In addition, please check word spellings.
First of all, the old buildings where have historic value.
Another fragment sentence.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,194 3644
Phuc, we cannot help you to fix the essay because it is not fixable. You are not capable of forming even the simplest coherent English sentence, the spelling of more than 80 % of the words are wrong, and your statements do not make sense because the grammar and sentence formation is inaccurate. It would be best for you to not try to write these essays yet and instead, work on translating Vietnamese to English words and sentences first. It seems that you are not in a position to pass the test yet. You first need to learn how to properly think in English and spell the English words. That can only be done once you are comfortable thinking in two languages simultaneously. That means, you need to be able to think in Vietnamese, then translate it almost instantly to English in the proper English context. If you cannot do that, then you create essay an such as this, which will most definitely not get a passing score. I wish I could help you with fixing the problems this essay has but in order to do that, I would have to rewrite the whole thing and I just don't have the time to do that as other students are also waiting for my review of their essays. Please, take my advice under consideration and delay your taking of the English test. You need to start with rudimentary English learning first.
Here are a number of errors made in the essay.
1) Incomplete sentences.
2) Too simple overview.
3) Unqualified introduction: Too short, no paraphrasing, no significant opinion of your own.
4) Spelling problem (first thing to improve).
5) Grammatical mistakes (second most important thing to fix).
6) Cumbersome sentences.
7) Lack of coherence and cohesion.
8) No centre of importance in body paragraph, ending a paragraph by an example is not so ideal in this case.
9) 3rd paragraph is stray and unfavourable.
10) Not fullfil task response: You do not answer whether the policy should take place or not, you just list the positive sides of it.