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IELTS: class attendance and vacation length


malhamed 9 / 19  
Apr 30, 2013   #1
hi, today i posted 2 essays that i worked on... hope you can help me with it
and if any one could score it for me to get an idea about how am i doing it will be great

1- should attendence to university classes be optional??

Most of students study harder in high school to be accepted in good universities. But once they are accepted they start asking whether it is optional to attend all classes or not, and the arguments about that start. However, I believe that universities should have strict rules to make students attend classes regularly. Through my essay I will present two reasons that support my opinion, which are creating competition among students and allowing them to share ideas with each other.

When we make students study together it will give them the passion to be the best and make them try to be better that their peers. A research took place in 2007 at Osmania University in India showed that regular students were able to score better than distance students. The researchers attributed this to the competition factor more than anything else. Thus, the benefits of regular attendance to classes can be seen.

Another important benefit that students can receive by attending classes regularly is to learn how to solve problems in different ways by sharing their ideas with each other. For example, one of my friends who was studying computer science in a university, learned one way of formatting a system from the books, and learned two other ways by discussing these matters with his classmates. Sharing his knowledge made him understand that there are many ways to solve a single problem. As the example shows, attending classes in university can develop student thinking.

In a nutshell, I can confidently say that students could lose a lot of benefits if the attendance to university classes is optional. Hence, I hope that all universities apply rules to make students attend their classes.

2-how long should the paid vacation be ?
Yearly vacation length
Nowadays, there are strict rules to protect the rights of the workers, and one of these rights is the paid annual leave. The length of this vacation varies from one country to another. In my opinion, the lows about paid vacation should not give the employee more than two weeks. Through this essay I will present two positive impacts of applying such rules, which are faster development of both countries and workers skills.

Countries are being developed by their hard working citizens, and when they have less vacation they will participate in the development better. To clear this point I will present an example, when Japan was hit by tsunami lately, the Japanese spend 3 more hours of daily work for free, and the country recovered from this disaster in less than one year. This shows how working more can be good for the development of countries.

Moreover, having short vacation can develop the skills of the employees better and makes them more productive. A research took place in 2005 at king Saud University showed that when the employee is being away from the working environment for more than two weeks, he/she will take two more weeks after starting the work to be able to product as he was before the vacation, thus he/she will be developing skills slower. The research made it clear that not being in touch with your work can affect your skills negatively.

In a nutshell, I can confidently say that the fast development of countries is attributed to having hard workers who are more in touch with their work, and I hope that all counties allow employees to have no more than two weeks of paid vacation.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 30, 2013   #2
Hi Malmhed,
It's always good that you have one essay in each post. Then you have better chances for having more feedbacks.

Most of students study harder in high school to be accepted in good universities

.... Let's try the same with direct speech;
Many high school students put lots of efforts and study hard in hope of getting accepted by good universities. ....I generally favor direct speech to passive voice because it can convey an idea in a more simple, convincing manner. However, you need to use passive voice where it is more appropriate. Specially in report writing, passive voice helps a lot.

But once they are accepted they start asking whether it is optional to attend all classes or not, and the arguments about that start.

.... I think this needs a little more clarity because there are optional subjects too ;
However, while they begin their university career, they tend to argue about making attendance a compulsory criterion for their final grades.


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