recycling awareness through education
Some people believe that more residential waste should be recycled and the sole solution to this is to make regulations about recycling. From my perspective, I disagree with that idea.
On the one hand, it is true that governments can encourage people to recycle more by promugating new laws. People would be more careful and diligent in recycling if they knew there was someone watching them. Besides, penalties such as fines or community service may serve as a deterrence to future wrong - doings. In contrast, if goverments do not make recycling things compulsory, residents may skip doing whenever they are unwilling or busy. After all, using a little force is good in some circumstances like this.
On the other hand, I do not support the claim that legal requirement is the only way to solve this problem. Even if governments command people to recycle throw - aways, there is no ensurance that they will do as they are told. Similar cases are to be found with laws about illegal logging or poaching as well. Therefore, what lies at the center of an effective solution is not rules but people's awareness. Educating people to notice the urgent environmental issues we are facing and how can we address them by recycling waste is the most effective solution. It is easier to do anything to which we put our minds and hearts.
In conclusion, although making recycling mandatory can serve as a solution to the waste problem, it is better for goverments to raise people's awareness through education.
Hi, @Veranda.
I have read your essay and would like to suggest some ways to improve it.
1. Task response: You have stated your position and sufficiently addressed all parts of the task. You also know how to present, extend and support your arguments. Keep up the good work! However, I would suggest changing your position into 'partly disagree/agree' since in the body you give justification for recycling laws and address other more effective solutions at the same time. If you 'disagree' with the idea, all your arguments should be against it.
2. The introduction and body paragraphs are clear and straightforward, although I would like you to analyse your arguments in-depth to make them more persuasive. Your ideas are certainly fine, but they are common ones one can think of when it comes to the issue mentioned. Try thinking a little bit deeper! ^^
As regards the ending, I think it needs sticking closer to the question. You can just add a little bit like this: 'In conclusion, ... to the waste problem, it is not the only viable one and goverments can go further as to raise people's ...'
You make fairly good use of linking devices, although there is still room for improvement:
+ I do not think 'In contrast' is appropriately used in the 1st paragraph of the body. 'If governments do not make ....' is meant to support the idea 'penalties such as....'. Omitting the phrase would be fine.
+ 'Therefore, what lies at [...] put our minds and hearts.'
----> I suggest rewriting this part by reorganising the sentences and adding a connector: 'Therefore, what lies at the core of an effective solution is not rules but self-awareness. Since it would be easier to conduct any actions once we put our hearts and minds to them, educating people .............................................'
3. You use a variety of grammatical structures with appropriate verb tenses and noun phrases. However, there are two grammar errors I would like to point out:
+ '... and how can we address them by ...' ---> It should be 'we can'.
+ 'Similar cases are to be found with laws' ---> 'are to be found' is not the appropriate tense used in this context. You may probably want to replace it with the following: '... can be found' or 'This has also been the case....'
4. As for lexicon, you flexibly use a wide range of vocabulary, some of which is highly academic. However, there are some points I would like to suggest to better your writing:
- I do not think 'ensurance' is the right word in the context you are writing. 'Guarantee' or 'assurance' will be better.
- The word 'residential' is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as '(of an area of a town) suitable for living in; consisting of houses rather than factories or offices', so it is often used for an area or town. An alternative to this word is 'household'.
- There is a misspelt word in your essay: 'promugate'. It should be 'promulgate'.
- Suggested alternatives to some phrases in your essay:
+ 'People would be ... watching them.' --->'People would be more careful and willing to recycle if (they knew) they were being watched by authorities/under the watch of authorities.'/'Recycling would be more carefully monitored/dealt with if....' .
+ 'do not make recycling things compulsory' ---> do not compel recycling (It is shorter but still academic)
+ 'residents may skip doing ... or busy.' ---> 'residents may dodge/evade/shirk their responsibilities whenever they feel busy or reluctant'.
+ 'Using a little force' ---> (A little) law enforcement
+ 'Even if governments ... do as they are told.'---> '........, there is no guarantee/assurance that they will act/follow accordingly.'
+ 'the center of an effective solution' ----> 'center' is all right, but maybe 'core' would sound better?
