I have an assignment on Narrative Essay. Due to my lack of time, I decided to develop the below paragraph into an essay. I wrote a paragraph last year when I had an assignment Ion Narrative Paragraph. I really need your comments on my paragraph so that I can modify it perfectly. Thank you!
The Cobra
Being in nature is very good for not only physical but also mental health. Being well aware of that, my family decided to go on a journey into Amazon tropical jungle. There, I had my most memorable moment of my life. After two days in Brazil, my father went to a tourist office to book a trekking tour into the jungle. The next day, we set off. Accompanied by a tour guide, a hunter and Rex, a Berger, I was pretty sure about my safety. It was sunny and windy. We had a river tour on a wooden boat. How beautiful the scene was! The water was so crystal clear that I could see the whole wonderful underwater world. Among the green weeds were a lot of gorgeous little fishes swimming freely with their colorful "coats" sparkling in the sunshine. Our sightseeing time was up when we arrived at the gate of the jungle. It was breathtaking for us to witness the imposingness of nature. The Amazon provides millions of species with an ideal habitat. Before starting, we were warned of chances to meet one of the most fearful creatures in the jungle: cobra. Having been afraid of snakes, I was scared to death when I heard that. Suddenly, I noticed a very attractive flower. I couldn't help stopping to observe it closely. It was a big, crimson flower with heart-shaped petals and very comfortable smell. I was so absorbed in the flower that when I turned back, I realized that I was left behind. Of a sudden, there was a huge, black and fearful cobra from behind the flower. I found it too scary. My feet were frozen. All I could do was standing and starring at the snake. I thought my life would end there, in the middle of the beautiful jungle. At that time, I heard a sound, a barking. It was Rex's. The cobra was distracted. He looked suspect at the dog and left. None of my family members was aware of my dangerous situation. Only Rex could and he saved my life. The narrow escape from my biggest fear made the journey to the Amazon unforgettable.
Helen Swan
The Cobra
Being in nature is very good for not only physical but also mental health. Being well aware of that, my family decided to go on a journey into Amazon tropical jungle. There, I had my most memorable moment of my life. After two days in Brazil, my father went to a tourist office to book a trekking tour into the jungle. The next day, we set off. Accompanied by a tour guide, a hunter and Rex, a Berger, I was pretty sure about my safety. It was sunny and windy. We had a river tour on a wooden boat. How beautiful the scene was! The water was so crystal clear that I could see the whole wonderful underwater world. Among the green weeds were a lot of gorgeous little fishes swimming freely with their colorful "coats" sparkling in the sunshine. Our sightseeing time was up when we arrived at the gate of the jungle. It was breathtaking for us to witness the imposingness of nature. The Amazon provides millions of species with an ideal habitat. Before starting, we were warned of chances to meet one of the most fearful creatures in the jungle: cobra. Having been afraid of snakes, I was scared to death when I heard that. Suddenly, I noticed a very attractive flower. I couldn't help stopping to observe it closely. It was a big, crimson flower with heart-shaped petals and very comfortable smell. I was so absorbed in the flower that when I turned back, I realized that I was left behind. Of a sudden, there was a huge, black and fearful cobra from behind the flower. I found it too scary. My feet were frozen. All I could do was standing and starring at the snake. I thought my life would end there, in the middle of the beautiful jungle. At that time, I heard a sound, a barking. It was Rex's. The cobra was distracted. He looked suspect at the dog and left. None of my family members was aware of my dangerous situation. Only Rex could and he saved my life. The narrow escape from my biggest fear made the journey to the Amazon unforgettable.
Helen Swan