Coffee and banana sales - TEST 2 CAMBRIDGE IELTS 10

sales of Fairtrade-labeled coffee and bananas

Given is the charts illustrating how much sales of Fairtrade - labeled coffee and bananas in the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden from 1999 to 2004. It is clear that there were always the most sales of bananas in Switzerland during 5 years of research. In addition, the gap sales of bananas and coffee in total narrowed substantially in the report.

Enjoyed the most remarkable sales in both two products in 1999, Switzerland accumulated 3 million euros from coffee which was 3 times less than that of it in the sale of bananas in the same period of time. Also, the sales of coffee in Denmark was similar to that of bananas at the starting point at 1.8 million euros.

A more detailed look reveals that the total sales of coffee in five countries were just around 7.1 million euros in 1999 which outweighed that of bananas approximately 1 to 3 ( 7.1 against 21,4 million euros). Nevertheless, the gap in sales of coffee and bananas became smaller after 5 years. The former product was two times less than the latter in the vicinity of 30,7, 62,4 million euros, respectively.

Please help me mark this essay.

Your essay cannot be marked because you did not upload the image and discussion instructions for this task 1 data report. All we can do is review your grammar and other presentation issues, not related to the image and instructions provided for the presentation. Upload the image next time you post a task 1 essay so a contributor, as only a contributor can score an essay here, can mark your work. Any student who marks another student's essay will automatically be suspended for forum rules violation.

Good work writing less than 200 words for this essay. You wrote just enough to get the highest possible scores for the grading rubic. However, you would end up being scored down for presentation because you did not write the minimum 3 sentences per paragraph. You should be writing 3-5 sentences that vary from simple to complex in presentation. Your current writing leans more on the run-on side of the presentation. A run-on sentence does not equal a complex sentences. Review your grammar development rules regarding complex sentence structures. Nice use of the ratio and parenthesis presentations. It ties in well to create a cohesive and coherent sentence. Not everyone can creatively and effectively use a parenthesis in their data reports. I am impressed.

Spelling error: labeled = labelled

Conciseness issue:
Do not use filler phrases such as "It is clear that there..." This creates a sense of confusion for the reader while reading your work. Simply say "There was always..." It immediately delivers the thought, without muddling the presentation just because you want to meet the word count. While you won't be scored down for using filler words, you will be scored down if the filler words affect the clarity of the presentation.