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TOEFL College education is one of the significant sources of increased knowledge


fuhuanluck 5 / 11  
Oct 15, 2009   #1
QUESTION: People attend college or university for many different reasons ,why?
Recent years have been a trend that accumulating number of people poured into college for further education. To this favorable tendency, in my own part, they attend university for new experiences, career preparation and increased knowledge.

Generally speaking, career preparation can be made during college study. Compared to compulsory education, it is college education that is inclined to cultivate students' social ability and expand social contract. A latest survey in China illustrates that 75% of the fresh employees graduate from college and about 50% are post-graduates. Therefore, college study provides students a chance to prepare for future career. To suppose I did not further my study in college, hardly could I learn crucial theories. So nothing can benefit future career more than college education.

Undoubtedly, new experiences are another reason for attending college. A high school provides basic knowledge, such as biology introductory and computer introductory, which is not available in the future. By contrast, not only does college education offer various campus life, but professional information. Biology seemed to appeal to my sister during her senior high. Thanks to the college education, she had the opportunity to major in medicine, researching more specifically and then becoming a doctor. To amuse she was not a college student, hardly could she work as doctor. Consequently, a college is where students can get new experiences.

Still, increased knowledge is another contributing factor. Knowledge is an explosion. The world is making progress at a rapid pace, with science and technology developing so fast. Nothing more than intellectuals is being demanded by corporations so urgently. Knowing the history, it is intellectuals that dominated the tendency the history developed following. The renowned people in the history had extensive knowledge. Today, rarely can we find a job without knowledge. It is sure that college education is one of the significant sources of increased knowledge.

After we take all I mentioned above into consideration, we can reach the conclusion that career preparation, new experiences and increased knowledge are the three major reasons for students pouring into college for further study.

Recent years have been a trend that accumulating number of people poured into college for further education. To this favorable tendency, in my own part, they attend university for new experiences, career preparation and increased knowledge.

Generally speaking, career preparation can be made during college study. Compared to compulsory education, it is college education that is inclined to cultivate students' social ability and expand social contract. A latest survey in China illustrates that 75% of the fresh employees graduate from college and about 50% are post-graduates. Therefore, college study provides students a chance to prepare for future career. To suppose I did not further my study in college, hardly could I learn crucial theories. So nothing can benefit future career more than college education.

Undoubtedly, new experiences are another reason for attending college. A high school provides basic knowledge, such as biology introductory and computer introductory, which is not available in the future. By contrast, not only does college education offer various campus life, but professional information. Biology seemed to appeal to my sister during her senior high. Thanks to the college education, she had the opportunity to major in medicine, researching more specifically and then becoming a doctor. To amuse she was not a college student, hardly could she work as doctor. Consequently, a college is where students can get new experiences.

Still, increased knowledge is another contributing factor. Knowledge is an explosion. The world is making progress at a rapid pace, with science and technology developing so fast. Nothing more than intellectuals is being demanded by corporations so urgently. Knowing the history, it is intellectuals that dominated the tendency the history developed following. The renowned people in the history had extensive knowledge. Today, rarely can we find a job without knowledge. It is sure that college education is one of the significant sources of increased knowledge.

After we take all I mentioned above into consideration, we can reach the conclusion that career preparation, new experiences and increased knowledge are the three major reasons for students pouring into college for further study.

EF_Stephen - / 264  
Oct 15, 2009   #2
Aside from the grammar missteps, this essay has the same kind of flaws commonly seen in those written by people whose language is not natively English.

it is clear that the vocabulary is not natural to you, and so what fluency you may have had is lost. There is a noticeable lack of precision in some of your phrasings that interrupts the flow of your writing.

It would be a good idea to redo it using words that are more familiar to you.
OP fuhuanluck 5 / 11  
Oct 15, 2009   #3
Thank you. i really appreciate. i will redo it as soon as possible.
besides, what else do you think i should correct? i will attend toefl test two months later,so i want to improve my wrting.
thaks a lot.


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