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College narrative essay on a moment of success.


omo5031 8 / 33  
Sep 17, 2012   #1
Prompt: Write a narrative essay on your moment of success

Response:

A moment of Success
I stood last in line ready to match to the rhythm of the congratulatory music; I fixed my gold sash and yellow rose as I watched everyone walk down the aisle, some missing their steps and others beaming with smile, while the crowd went wild clapping. It was now my turn, the moment I had been waiting for all my life, heads help up high and with mouth grinning from ear to ear, I stepped into the room. As I stepped in, everyone in the room stood and clapped as loud as they could. I felt my lips twitch and as I couldn't help hiding it anymore, I burst out laughing. "I have every right to laugh as much as I want here" I said quietly to myself, thinking of what my mom would say "it's your day dear, enjoy it- you worked hard for it..."

No, it wasn't my wedding day, but it was a day similar to that. It was my high school graduation, and some might think "what's the big deal; it's just a high school graduation". Well to me it was a HUGE deal; graduating high school valedictorian at the age of fifteen in a foreign country was more than a big deal; it was in fact my proudest moment in life. After I took my seat, right in front of the room, I reflected on how far I had come in those past three years I spent in my high school in the Bahamas. I remember the principal disliking me for who I was, my mum promising her three years ago in one of the first altercations I had with her, that I would surprise her. I'm sure she was surprised at that moment when she discovered that I was the valedictorian.

With so much fulfilled happiness and reflection, I forgot where I was for a moment, until the director called my name; it was time for the valedictory speech and I was the one giving it. My accent didn't matter anymore; the fact that I wasn't a citizen didn't matter anymore, all that mattered was that I fulfilled my goal. I was who I pictured myself to be when I attended the previous year's graduation. I gave my speech like a true pro, and walked back to my seat after a lot of congratulatory and good job phrases from people around me.

All of the previous feeling of importance was great; however the best part of the day was yet to come. As soon as the principal declared the time for awards, I felt a watermelon in my chest, 'yes' I was valedictorian but that didn't mean I was getting the most awards. Anxiously I clapped as the eighty eight people ahead of me got their diplomats and awards, some walked away with one, some two, some ten, some with none at all. The salutatorian, who has been my major competitor all along walked away with ten awards. Then the moment came, and my name was called, I walked across the stage, and the director went on and on with all the awards I was getting. "Angela Smith!!! and she get awards for most outstanding student, best in mathematics, chemistry..." I just kept blushing and grinning as I approached the presenter to get my awards, I got so many awards I needed help carrying them. With my teacher trailing behind me, with hand full of my awards and my hand so full I had difficulty shaking people, I approached my sit. Then the highlight of the day came, I found my mum approaching me with tears of joys in her eyes, this made me feel like I just won the presidency election, and this was the moment that I confirmed that, that was in fact a moment of success for me, making my mom proud was my intention all along and now I got it.

"I came, I saw, I conquered"; is the phrase I use to describe my high school career, anytime I look at my graduation trophies. Can't say it was easy, but with a lot of persistence, hard work and endurance, I made it! However, I'm not done with success, I'm now on a journey to greater heights; to have that feeling again at the end of my college graduation is my new goal and I definitely will get it.
the optimists 2 / 2  
Sep 28, 2012   #2
It was now my turn, the moment I had been waiting for all my life, heads held up high and with mouth grinning from ear to ear, I stepped into the room.

...very nice essay...true to life story...inspiring

with good grammar and vocabularies


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