Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


"It is much more comfortable to cry in a Rolls Royce than on a bicycle" money vs happiness



Unnati_99 1 / -  
Sep 13, 2015   #1
A successful person is the one who has earned alot of money.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

"Money does not buy one happiness yet it is much more comfortable to cry in a Rolls Royce than on a bicycle "
We all know that the best things in life have no material cost . Money cannot buy everything but in today's materialistic world , it is very hard to maintain happiness without money . Success cannot be measure based on the amount of money a person earns. Money is just an indicator of how much his ability and hard work has been recognised by the society .

A truly successful individual is one who has who has done something good for others . It is human nature to do things for personal benefits , but a person can only be called succesful if he has a share in the better of the society . Contribution to the society is a major part of success . People can earn alot of money through corruption and other illegal deeds but that does not make them successful . A person who spends his time providing education to the poor children who cant afford it but earns limited money is much more successful than someone who manufactures drugs but earns a very large amount of money.

The choice is between internal satisfaction and money.A person who earned a lot of money can provide all the luxuries & comforts of life to his children but he can't give the love & time that his children needs because he remains busy in earning money so he can't extract time for his family, friends & relatives. For example we can see our political leaders who remain busy in their work although they have too much money but they can't give time to their families.

The conclusion drawn by this is that different people have different concepts about success . But success does not only mean money , it means to be able to have a balance in life where none of the aspects of life are neglected .

lcturn87 - / 423  
Sep 13, 2015   #2
Hello, I can help you with your essay. I have never heard of this quote, but you should give credit to the source (i.e. book, individual, internet, etc). Measure should be "measured". Here is a suggestion for the next sentence: "how much a person's ability".

2nd paragraph: There is just an error in typing the first sentence. It should read: "A truly successful individual is one who has who has done something good for others". (Remember to delete the additional spaces after typing a comma and period.) Here is another suggestion "...successful if he has a share in making society better". You can add "A" before contribution. The next sentence add an apostrophe, "can't" and place a comma after "it".

3rd paragraph: I want to give you three suggestions:
1) The second sentence you should begin with: "For example, a person who has earned a lot of money can provide all the luxuries and comforts of...." (This sentence you can spell out the word "and" instead of using (&). Also, you can end this sentence with the word "needs")

2) Form a new sentence: "He remains busy..."
3) The last sentence: "Another example is our..." Place a comma after "leaders" and "work".

I hope this helps you!
Bayuwibowo 48 / 62  
Sep 14, 2015   #3
People can earn a lot of money through corruption and other illegal deeds , but that does not make them successful .

Please be careful in your comma.
For example , ...
...., but ...
..., although, ...

Good Luck!!


Home / Writing Feedback / "It is much more comfortable to cry in a Rolls Royce than on a bicycle" money vs happiness
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳