Communication amenities - WRITING TASK 1: THE LINE GRAPH

Usage of different communication services

The graph illustrates the number of diverse communication amenities which were utilized in the world over the period from 1998 to 2008.

Overall, the figure for 5 services saw an upward trend during the period, with the highest point belonging to Cellular phone service in 2008.

The number of people choosing Cellular service as a priority witnessed a considerably increasing trend by about 55%, from 5% to 60% at the end of the period. Whereas the figure for Internet service's customers also rose moderately but this change was not as substantial as Cellular phone service, from around 3% to 20% in 2008.

Starting at the highest level in 1998 with 15% but the number of Landline service usages grew slightly by about 2% during the researched period. Two remaining services recorded no choice during the first three years of the survey. However, in 2002, the figure enjoyed a steady rise before reaching approximately 5% in the last year of the period.

Many thanks for your help!

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The summary overview and trending statement would have been better scored had it properly used the listing of services as a part of the summarized information. The trending statement in particular would have seen a more comprehensive presentation had the listing been used throughout the summary and trending statements. The summary sentence would have also gained better scores had it used less of a run-on presentation and more of a single idea per sentence presentation. The latter format allows the writer to display more sentence development control in a critical point of the presentation.

The reporting paragraphs are good but not well analyzed. The writer neglected to create report references to overlapping data and equivalency points where the information presented indicated similar data. Since the report should make comparisons where relevant, mentioning at least one or two of these points would have served as a scoring boost. Look for minute similarities next time to help show a critical analysis of the image presented.