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A comparison of alteration in means of transport in England between 1985 and 2000 by distance/person


Beauty17 56 / 88 5  
Dec 2, 2016   #1
The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000

A comparison of alteration in means of transport in England between 1985 and 2000 according to average distance of person per year in miles is shown in the table. Overall, a huge number of inhabitants spent their furthest travel by car in both years while journey which used taxi was the shortest distance in 1985.

To begin with, transports which had car engine traveled 3705 miles in 1985. At that time, local bus trip was 429 miles, which was lower about six times than car. Meanwhile, other vehicles had journey not more than 55 miles. In 2000, taxi and local distance bus had a significant increase and car experienced the same. Taxi increased by 29 miles while local distance bus witnessed higher three times than it was in 1985. Lastly, local bus decreased to 274 miles in the latest year.

The rest of modes of travel had a short distance. People had walked not more than 260 miles in both years and bicycle declined slightly by 10 miles in 2000. Then, train and other transports traveled 239 and 450 miles respectively in 1985. In the next following period, those transports inclined by more than 100 miles.




akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Dec 2, 2016   #2
Hi Miss Meireza..
These are a few corrections to finalize your writing.

a huge number of inhabitants spent their furthest travel

Before you upload your writing, you should reread yours to check the meaning of your sentence. I am sure that you had the different meaning between what you write and what you mind. It is a correct grammatically, but it is more important for the meaning.

A LARGE NUMBER OF INHABITANTS SPENT MOST OF THEIR TRAVELS.

Based on the grammar, you are free of the major errors. However, there were some things which you have to enhance. Avoid repetition. You have used many times for some words. It will influence your score in the lexical resource. Besides that, I ever told you that the good paragraph consists of at least 3 sentences. You should make more effort to add your overview to fulfill the criteria.


car experienced the same

Evade making vague information. I got meaning of the same for that sentence. You cannot get the higher score if you create the vague information.

I wanna suggest you the way to get the high score. You should present the first sentence in the overview about what you want to review in the first body paragraph. After that, the second sentence in the overview is what you explain in the next body paragraph. It will seem systematic. The examiner will think you have been able to construct the paragraphs systematically. That is also the way to keep coherence and cohesion.


I believe you only wait the time to master this skill.
Keep Writing
GOOD LUCK


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