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A comparison of five groups activities of Australian kids 5 -14 years old spent their leisure time


ruaconbm122 1 / 1  
Jul 14, 2015   #1
Task: The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown.
You should write at least 150 words.

A comparison of five groups activities of Australian kids 5 -14 years old spent their leisure time, including watching media entertainments, playing games, biking, skateboarding/rollerblading and Art activity is illustrated through the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that the boys preferred more action activities than girls, except Art and craft.

It is clearly shown from the graph that 100 % of both boys and girls under survey enjoyed watching televisions or videos in their spare time. In addition, the second most popular activities of those children, attracting 80% of boys and 60% of girls, were playing games (electronic or computer), while Skateboarding or rollerblading had the lowest participation of Australian children, with almost 40% of boys and around 23% of girls.

Riding a bike was almost as popular as electronic games amongst 76% of boys and, perhaps surprisingly, almost 60% of girls said that they enjoyed this. On the other hand, Art and craft were marked by the percentage of girls more preferable than boys, almost 60%, and about 37% respectively.
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Jul 14, 2015   #2
It is clearly shown...

That should be a new paragraph. You have an intro then with a thesis statement.

Overall, it can be seen...

You do a good job of analyzing the data! Your comments are helpful, and insightful. I think you show the difference between male and female activity very well. I think you need to make a wrap up concluding statement. In the last paragraph, not necessarily the last sentence, you should reiterate that overall boys tend to prefer action activities more than girls.

Your grammar and punctuation are fine. Just adjust your form and conclusion the way I suggested. I think you'll have a stronger essay for it if you just add a concluding statement or thought.

Good job!

ef _carol
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jul 16, 2015   #3
- It is clearly shown fromin the graph that 100 %
- of both boys and girls underin the survey

Ruacon, first of all you don't tag, "Overall", to an analysis that just started, this is suppose to be on the last part or when you wrap up the article.

It would also help if you post the graph or the chart, this will help us to give inputs in your writing.

Overall, the analysis is good, you made a point in comparing the given numbers and was able to come up with a complete report.


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