Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


The comparison regarding the number of population in Yemen and Italy between 2000 and 2050



ainirere /  
Mar 26, 2016   #1
The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projection for 2050.

The population by ages in Yemen and Italy in the year 2000 and 2050 has been depicted in the chart. Overall, both Yemenis and Italian age between 15 to 59 years old is majority while age 60 above is minority.

In Yemen, in the year 2000, elderly was the smallest population which have nearly same proportion with the year 2050. It was 3,6 % in 2000 and it is forecasted will decline by 2,1% in 2050. Furthermore, the highest population in 2000 was children less than 14 years old at nearly half of the elderly and adult population. However in 2050, the productive age (15-59) is predicted will be the highest percentage at 57, 3%.

On the other hand, in Italy the adult is the largest population in the year 2000 and 2050. It was 61.6% in 2000 and forecasted will decrease at 46,2% in 2050. Whereas children are the modest population which have slightly same percentage both the years, it was 14,1% in 2000 and it is predicted will dip at 11.5% in 2050.


  • Academic_IELTS_Writi.jpg


Yusri31 28 / 29  
Mar 26, 2016   #2
Hai aini

I will give you some suggestions

The population by ages in Yemen and Italy in the year 2000 and 2050 has been depicted in the chart. Overall, both Yemenis and Italian age between 15 to 59 years old is majority while age 60 above is minority.

1. In the sentence, you use present perfect passive, i think, it is better when you use simple present passive. and you are supposed to use "comparison word" in your sentence.

For Instance :

The comparison regarding the number of population in Yemen and Italy between 2000 and 2050 can be seen in the chart. At first glance, we can conclude that the people aged 15 to 59 had the biggest proportion.....
akbartaufiq25 7 / 80  
Mar 27, 2016   #3
Thanks for proofreading my post.
It will be better if you put a comma to separate "...in Italy" and "the adults". Hope this helps.


Home / Writing Feedback / The comparison regarding the number of population in Yemen and Italy between 2000 and 2050
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳