Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


computer made life more complex and stressful .



bahareh 18 / 48  
May 24, 2011   #1
Is not "technology" a little bit addicting? Unfortunately, we can see some kind of addiction in our daily life by using computer as a new technology. Computers have changed our life since they have been invented, so we completely depend on them to do our work or any other needs. Since computers have been used as one of the most important things in our life, we may feel more stressful and uncomforted. In our society, computers have made our life more complex and stressful because they make us depend on them, affect on children negatively, and change our relationship.

Now, we are so dependent on computer that is hard to imagine what things would be like today without them. For example, people can do their banking such as paying their bills or mortgage from their house with their computer otherwise they may go to the bank and ask bank teller to do it only in few seconds by bank's computer systems. However, sometimes freezing all computer system in such places like banks or offices in a big company could be disaster for people who are involved.

New technology such as computer affects on our children negatively, so we can see different trait from our children and their connection with computer. Most our students start living in a virtual reality by playing computer games and spend the most of their time in front of computer instead of improving their social skills through playing with other kids. For instance, my children always prefer playing computer game in their own room instead of playing basketball or other exercises in a public place. Thus, they probably never show a good manner in a group because they never tried before.

Nowadays, our relationship with others has changed since we accessed to computers. People were more connected with each other by chatting or visiting in a place and enjoy time together; however, now they would rather send an e-mail or text to their friends without any face-to -face connection. Therefore, in new century with new technology like computer, people feel too busy to go somewhere only to visit a friend.

Although there are many advantages in our life through using computers, we should be suspicious of the benefits that computers have brought to us. We also should be concerned about all games and other computer programs in which our children are interested; moreover, we need to connect with others properly.

dhammika1973 8 / 18  
May 24, 2011   #2
You printout only the complexities and other stressful factors. But, you may have give some suggestions for that mentioned complexities, how we can avoid them and how we can make our better life. This can add your essay as a paragraph, it is better to add before the conclusion paragraph.

Good luck,
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
May 26, 2011   #3
I don't think it is necessary to put "technology" in " " marks. Just do this:

Is not technology a little bit addicting? Unfortunately, we can...

... and change our relationships.

Now, we are so dependent on computers that is hard...

However, sometimes freezing all computer system in such places like banks or offices in a big company could be disaster for people who are involved.---good point!!

I think it is okay to say "a little bit addicting." I like lfdz's ideas, but in this case I think it really is okay to say "a little bit.." :-)

New technology such as computer affects on our children negatively, so in the sense that we can see different traits in our children and their connection with computers.

Most of our students start ...

Great job here!! I like the ending... and I agree with your ideas! In fact, I think I am going to get away from this computer RIGHT NOW!!

;-)
OP bahareh 18 / 48  
May 30, 2011   #4
thankyou for your advise.
bahar


Home / Writing Feedback / computer made life more complex and stressful .
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳