Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Ielts task2: computers are considered to be the most crucial and noticeable invention



minhquan20 2 / 5  
Aug 5, 2020   #1

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years.


To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is true that in today's society, many people believe that among various innovation in the last hundred years, computers are considered to be the most crucial and noticeable invention. From my point of view, I partly agree with this idea.

On the one hand, without a doubt, there are some reasons that explain why computers are highly appreciated. First, computers take part in numerous activities of people, ranging from study, work to relaxation and entertainment. For instance, in terms of study, reaseachs are much more easy for not only the students but also the teachers as computers are sefull devices allowing them to access a large amount of cost-free information on the internet. As a result, that could greatly enhance their academic performance.

On the other hand, I suppose that not only computers are the key invention, but also there are several innovations as vital as it emerging in the last hundred years. From the perspective of environment, alternative sources of energy deserve more attention. As natural resources are become more and more exhausted, the creation of some renewable resources such as solar energy or wind energy are extremely necessary. Moreover, many funtion of computers could disappear without the invention of the Internet as it is not only the key helping computers to access the greatest source of information , but also the thing could connect people in all around the world, regardless of the distance.

To sum up, although computers are one of the best thing that happen to our society, there are plenty of inventions that as important as it today.

Veronica11 3 / 9  
Aug 5, 2020   #2
Hi! I have some suggestions for you. Hope this helps:

"are much more easy" => "are much easier"

"As natural resources are becoming more ... or wind energy is extremely necessary."

" people in all around the world "
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Aug 5, 2020   #3
This is not a comparative essay discussion. Why did you approach it as such? You cannot "partly" agree with the essay because the discussion requirement for this essay is a single opinion presentation. It is not a comparative discussion and can never be a comparative discussion because of the "extent" requirement based on only 2 questions, agree or disagree? When you say "partly" , you go against the TA scoring requirement of having a clear point of view. A person with a "partial" opinion does not have an opinion at all. So pick one opinion and defend it. The extent response refers to how well and strongly you can defend your opinion. This is done through the dispelling of the ideas that the opposite opinion creates. To make your opinion strong, you explain why the other side is weak. That is what the extent essay is about. The discussion format could be:

Sentence 1: Topic sentence
Sentence 2: Explanation why people believe this reason
Sentence 3: Opposing topic in relation to the original topic
Sentence 4: Example to support your opposition
Sentence 5: Explanation in support of the opposition example that disproves the first topic discussion

The strength of the essay, of your opinion, lies in the coherence and cohesiveness of your reasoning paragraphs. The stronger your discussion, the more emotional descriptive words you use to defend your stance, the better your presentation will become. By the way, use 3 sentences at least in the prompt paraphrase and the summary presentation in the conclusion. Those are the expected formatting requirements for those paragraphs.


Home / Writing Feedback / Ielts task2: computers are considered to be the most crucial and noticeable invention
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳