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Computers are considered as the most vital intention of the last decade


andynguyen96 1 / 1  
Jul 28, 2020   #1
Can I have my essay scored (IELTS Writing Task 2)

Topic

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years.


To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Along with the development of modern society, the inventions of numerous advanced technologies are gradually improving the living standard of human beings. Among these is the appearance of computers, which is yet considered the most vital intention of the last decade. While I agree that computers are playing more important roles in our lives, I strongly believe that their drawbacks are still a great concern.

On the one hand, computers are bringing plenty of benefits to humans. Firstly, it makes a load of information easily accessible to everyone in the world with an internet connection. People nowadays can just stay home with an internet-connected computer and search for what they need via search engines like Google or Bing. Moreover, the ability to process data quickly of a computer helps to enhance the performance of every single industry. There are more and more applications that support the management of a company, namely Microsoft Office or Viber, which can reduce the labor-intensive involved and lead to a better performance of a company as a whole.

On the other hand, beside the benefits it brings, the invention of computers also drags along some huge drawbacks. The most dangerous disadvantage of it may originate from its giant information database. Due to the freedom of uploading information on the internet, computer users when trying to update news can be misled by a lot of untrustworthy news sources. In many governments, there are even regulations that consider fake news as criminals, however, preventing this is still a difficult task that requires the cooperation of many involved entities. Additionally, due to the advance of technology, new types of computers are released frequently, which results in a huge amount of electrics waste and environmental problems. We are producing more electronic devices than at any other time, which put heavy pressure on the environment and the planet. And if we cannot come up with the solution for the waste that the computer industry is producing, all the advantages that computers bring to our lives will be countered by their disadvantages.

In conclusion, I personally think that computers are essential to our society, but only when the solution for the problems derived from the invention of computer is made that it deserves the title of the most important invention of the last hundred years.

jhhh11 14 / 30  
Jul 28, 2020   #2
Hi! Here are some suggestions for you:

I think that with this type of Opinion essay (Agree/Disagree), you should better pick 1 side, OR to write a more balance argument, but still state which side you support more.

In this essay, the paragraph that you write about the drawbacks of computers is seemingly irrelevant, it does not support your argument or your stand point at all. Instead, for paragraph 3, I think that you can:

- write about another positive of computers if you TOTALLY AGREE.
- write about another invention that is more important than computers if you PARTIALLY AGREE.

Hope it is helpful. Good luck!
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,031 2721  
Jul 28, 2020   #3
You may have your essay scored when you use our PRIVATE REVIEW SERVICE or make your essay URGENT. Scoring is no longer part of our free review services.

WARNING ! STUDENT SCORING = ACCOUNT SUSPENSION !!!

There is no middle ground in this discussion. Do not listen to the misleading advice being given above by your fellow student. An extent essay always requires a single opinion, that does not falter from its defense of your opinion within 2 reasoning paragraphs.

By the way, the wrong advice given to you is also useless because you failed to properly discuss the essay based upon the given instructions. You changed the discussion from an Extent Essay to an Advantage / disadvantage discussion. So the essay will fail because your response is not related to the task. For clarity:

Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Response: While I agree that computers are playing more important roles in our lives, I strongly believe that their drawbacks are still a great concern.

As you can see, you did not offer an extent response, you gave a comparative discussion response, which is totally incorrect given the prompt expectations for your discussion format.


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