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Many consider that history subject cannot bring any practical use - Ielts 2



chaungan1714 1 / -  
Aug 9, 2021   #1

Some people say History is one the most important school subjects



In this day and age, History is the subject that is usually on the chopping block as many consider it cannot bring any practical use and that time should be spent on other subjects that may guarantee students a hopeful future. While there are some undeniable reasons for this perception, I personally believe that education is more than just employability.

On the one hand, the study of the past - History has proved to provide students with a great deal of advantages. Not only it acknowledge them with what happened in the past such as the rise and fall of an empire, the evaluation of human beings and so on, this academic area also gives an opportunity for students to immerse themselves in the traditions and cultures of their own regions and countries around the world, which is a valuable factor to build well-rounded citizens that can become a useful part of future society. Moreover, mastering History gives young learners the sense of pride and passion for their local people and hometown, hence enhancing their patriotism. For example, when studying about the French's invasion in Vietnam, students will have the awareness and self-defense to protect the country against intruders.

On the other hand, the role of learning Science and Technology is undeniable, especially in this day of rapid advancement. Global industrialism requires the people living in it a profound knowledge of technological consciousness. Cutting-edge technology remarkably promotes an advancing life, which increases a country's economic as well as societal status. For example, a focus on teaching Technology in the education system of Japan noticeably alleviated the consequence of its economic crisis in the early 90s. In addition, if one sees education as laying foundations for future employment, then of course subjects that link to more positive job outcomes should be priorities.

In conclusion, the comparative importance of History, Science and Technology as part of modern education absolutely rely on the point of view of each individual. A balance is needed to make sure our society is populated by neither unemployable masses nor individuals that are disconnected from their own cultural identities.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Aug 10, 2021   #2
Where did the reference to employability come from? The original prompt does not include such a mention. Do not add any information that alters the original discussion. That is a percentage score deduction. The paraphrasing failed to include references to all stated opinion points, creating an inaccurate topic representation. The paraphrase in going to encounter failed score inducing deductions.

The writer uses memorized phrases learned in class such as on the one hand and on the other hand. While useful when learning transition phrases, learning to use topic sentence openers would earn better scores .

The writer uses only his personal opinion throughout the discussion I while it is comparative, the public opinion explanation is missing. So the reasons why the public supports each opinion, and how it relates to the personal opinion is missing. This will force a lower C + C score as well.


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