Consumers being overwhelmed with commercial advertisements since fierce competition among companies

Topic:

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies.

To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

Recently, customers being overwhelmed with commercial advertisements as a result of fierce competition between companies has become a major topic of concern. This may cause some inconvenience to customers. Fortunately, there are some solutions that can be addressed.

Advertisements appearing everywhere may cause the audience to be overwhelmed and annoyed. One important reason is that users' emails might be flooded with useless advertising notifications that take over their important emails. Furthermore, companies are fond of exaggerating their product features in order to increase their sales. This may make customers fall for their marketing campaign and buy unnecessary products. For instance, food companies may collab with influencers to sponsor their foods and require them to act as if it is truly scrumptious. However, it may not taste as good as it is told to be. In this way, the companies can manipulate customers' behavior and trick them into buying their products.

Censorship, from my perspective, might be the most effective way to tackle the problem. Eventually, rubbish mail can gradually be eliminated. Moreover, inappropriate advertisements on the streets, in magazines, in newspapers, and on the internet might be successfully reduced by being filtered. Therefore, customers are also provided with advertisements of the products which they actually need, instead of those pop up on their feeds. Moreover, by doing this, the companies might spend more time improving their products' features rather than advertising in order to gain an edge over their components.

To conclude, the rapidly increasing number of advertisements may cause annoyance and manipulate customers into buying unnecessary products. However, this problem can be gradually tackled by censorship of the Internet and the government.

This is my IELTS writing task 2 essay, which aspects do you think I can improve, and which band score this writing may be. Thank you for reading and have a nice day!! <333

The promot restatement is acceptable but, the writer's opinion is not. You did not directly respond to the extent questions, nor did you offer a proper thesis statement for the related solutions. As such, this preliminary paragraph may not receive a preliminary passing score. This will be a problem for you in the later scoring considerations. You did not fully develop a correct reference statement.


Do not use modern English slang when writing academic essays. Always use the complete and formal word. You could lose points in the GRA and LR section when you use word short cuts unnecessarily.

The essay will not receive a passing score due to the incomplete discussion presentation. You did not address the main question in the discussion which is to what extent the influence... This should come from your personal opinion and be addressed as such in one of the 2 reasoning paragraphs.