Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 8

The contribution of three different sectors to the UK economy; 'agriculture 50%'


bakhadeer 6 / 20  
Apr 9, 2014   #1
Question:
The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

Answer:
The bar chart illustrates the charity (or contribution) of three sections, included agriculture, manufacturing and both business and financial services, to the UK economy, during the period between 1990 and 2000.

In the beginning of the twentieth century, the highest percentage of contribution belonged to agriculture at about 50%, closely followed by manufacturing sector with a little difference. The figure of business and financial sector had a tough position in the first decade of the age, at less than five percents.

In the 1950s, there was a slightly increase in all of the three different sections, except for productions ( or manufacturing) sector.
The situation modified thoroughly, with doubling in percentage of charity from business and finance, while the range of agriculture's contribution to the UK economy declined and showed five times smaller amount compared with 1900s result.

The proportion of agriculture closely in millennium was picked the lowest point ever had during the period shown. By contrast business and financial sector reached a peak at under 40%, ... the production (or manufacturing) sector saved its moderate point in correlation with two others.



MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Apr 9, 2014   #2
the charity (or contribution)

the changes in the contribution

during the period between 1990 and 2000

InAt the beginning of the twentieth century

five percents

five percent

In the 1950s

In 1950

a slightlyslight increase

closely in millennium

in 2000

was picked the lowest point ever had during the period shown

was the lowest figure throughout the period
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 10, 2014   #3
Pay attention to Pahan's suggestion on the structure and re do this accordingly :)

The bar chart illustrates the charity(or contribution)contribution to the UK economybyof three sections, included agriculture, manufacturing and both business and financial services, to the UK economy, during the period between 1990 and 2000.

"charity" means an organization which is set up to provide help and raise money for those in need. This word is totally inappropriate to use in this scenario.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 10, 2014   #4
In the beginning of the twentieth century, the highest percentage of contribution belonged to agriculture at about 50%, closely followed by manufacturing sector with a little difference. The figure of business and financial sector had a tough position in the first decade of the age, at less than five percents.

Is this you mean?
Agriculture sectors broke a record as the highest percentage of selected contribution, followed by manufacturing coming as second in the first-decade period. The business and financial sectors showed a reserve.
OP bakhadeer 6 / 20  
Apr 10, 2014   #5
thanks for feedback) can you make any example sentence for mainbody (overview)
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Apr 10, 2014   #6
You could write a simple overview without giving any data. Here is my example:
Overall, both agriculture and manufacturing sectors experienced a significant decrease in their economic contributions. On the contrary, there was a rise in the share of business and financial sector in the UK economy during the period.
OP bakhadeer 6 / 20  
Apr 10, 2014   #7
it sounds great. awesome overview)) i found this web page as very useful. plz check also my another report for task 1. Estimated world literacy

dumi, pahan thanks for both. i will try to use your suggestions in my further writings ;)


Home / Writing Feedback / The contribution of three different sectors to the UK economy; 'agriculture 50%'