[IELTS WRITING TASK 2] - controversy surrounding the equalization of gender in tertiary education

UNIVERSITY SHOULD ACCEPT AN EQUAL NUMBER OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS

These days, there is a great controversy surrounding the equalization of gender in tertiary education. Having the same viewpoint with the predominance of people, I strongly concur that both sexes have a similar quantity of chances at school.

First, In virtue of gender discrimination, a large number of feminine people have no opportunities to attend any class at the universities. Following some religions, for instance, Islam or Hinduism, women and girls are not allowed to go to school. This situation leads to the loss of talented people just due to they are female. Furthermore, in the period of innovative civilization culture, all gender should have equal right of choosing what they want to study. Once gender discrimination vanishes, the human community step by step achieves the pinnacle of social evolution.

Second, from the beginning of history, women have played an important role in human knowledge attainment, especially in science. We can not deny the contribution of Marie Curie and Queen Elizabeth I who devoted their whole life to the betterment world. These two women are huge motivations for the next generation of female students. Hence, the gender equalization number of universities is necessary to emphasize the importance of women's place. On the contrary, if fewer women hold important sectors in one region, they will receive no respect from men.

In conclusion, universities should admit an equal number of both sexes and provide equal opportunities at all levels.

The question asked pertains to student ratio, not rate of academic success. The response is not applicable to the stated discussion foundation. Had the writer properly structured the response to indicate a strong agreement with gender ratio acceptance first, then used academic success ratio as the reason, then the response would have been highly rated intums of relevance to the topic.

The discussion does not focus on academic and gender equality. Topics presented are rather inclined to support more female rather than an equal ratio of acceptance to men. The reasoning paragraphs oppose the provided extent opinion.This will leave the reader confused and also blur the actual opinion presentation to the point where the essay will be deemed non- cohesive in discussion approach. The opinion is not properly supported nor justified.

The topic is about whether the NUMBER of male or female students should be equal or not in terms of enrolment. But it is NOT about gender discrimination. So i think that you should have the right focus.