Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


A cornerstone for a person to get successful in life is planning. TOEFL activities Essay



blackcat 1 / -  
Jan 23, 2015   #1
TOEFL Essay, "Planning is better for free time activities OR not"

A cornerstone for a person to get successful in life is planning. Consequently everything goes well organized if planned. i would prefer to plan activities for the free time for several reasons.

Firstly, life is short and we have to use every second of our lives with great care. Free times are almost wasted if not planned with any activity. People are more likely to do nothing(not even sleep) during their free time. One might waste their time just daydreaming. For example, when I was little I use to waste all of my time after school just roaming around in the house doing nothing at all, in contrast when I was adviced by my teacher to make a schedule for after school , I was able to use my time for usefull fields like drawing and readind story books. which were my field of interest though I never found time for them earlier.

Moreover, life is like stone thrown in to the well, what goes down can never be found. Once we waste our time we are never going to get it back. we might not always work as per the schedule we have planned but it might most of the time. It is always advisable to plan for the free time to attain a prosperous life.

In my opinion, planning activities for the leisure time has lot of benefits over not planning for the free time. Planning can make a man more successful , active and prepared for future. There is nothing to lose if one prepares a schedule for free time though he might not always work up to the plans made. whereas, without planning absolutely wasting the time will be foolhardy.

rohitkhadse 2 / 4  
Jan 23, 2015   #2
you should present more examples for your reasons.Also the essay is little short in the TOEFL point of view.
Vns9x 102 / 230  
Jan 24, 2015   #3
Sorry to inform you but this essay needs lots of works. Glaringly, you could have introduced your ideas in a much more coherent way without using those words such as consequently, thus, e.t.c right at the beginning of your essay. I would advise you to utilize them less especially in the introduction part to be honest. And yes indeed, i completely agree with rohitkhadse that you should have provided more examples to strengthen your essay.

I hope that my comment will benefit your upcoming essays.


Home / Writing Feedback / A cornerstone for a person to get successful in life is planning. TOEFL activities Essay
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳