Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


In some countries teens have jobs while they are students.is it good or not?



brisky 5 / 13  
May 10, 2014   #1
hi all, iam preparing for toefl, plz help me with my essay

Teenages are the happiest period of life. We should study as well as enjoy our teenage days. Itis a common pratice in some countries that teens have jobs whilestidying. I think it is not a good idea. I have a few reasons to think like that.

To begin with my reasons , working while studying is quite challenging. Especiallh for teems as they are in the growing period and are not able to withstand the stress at work. This can affect them in future. Some students even take night shifts. Diseases caused by sleep depriviation are very common now a days. Studies have shown some of the diseases like diabetes and hypertension can be caused due sleep depriviation.

Secondly, talk7ng jobs along with studies is very difficult to manage. students willnot get enough time to prepare for the test and that ultimately affect their grades. As all of us are studying to get a better job we should have a good educational background. itis very essential to thrive in this competitive world. So the priority should be given to studies than jobs in teenage days. Like the proverb , too many cooks spoil the di ner, too many tasks at a time can ruin our life. It is necessaryto put our full potential to our during those days.

Thirdly, teen age is the colorful period of our life. We should enjoy that time of our life or else we will regret later. If we have a busy schedule we wont have time for extra curricular activities at schools or colleges. once we are done with colleges there wont be any chance for these. When I was in college I used to paricipate for all the activities there. I really miss those colorful and joyous days of my life.

Even though I stick to my view that teens neednot work while studying. Icant always say that it is not a good thing. Doing jobs while studying has its own merits too. Students will be able to pay for their tuition fees than depending on parents. Jobs act as a guildlines for the future ventures.

To summarize , teenages are the happiest period of our life. We should enjoy these happy days and concentrate on studies rather than going for jobs.

ammus1 10 / 29  
May 10, 2014   #2
Sweta, you have to improve your essay structure especially introduction. You have to state ur opinion and pay attention to the spellings.
Studying, guidelines. ..
OP brisky 5 / 13  
May 10, 2014   #3
thank you ammus for your valuable suggestion
dumi 1 / 6793  
May 10, 2014   #4
TeenagesTeenage years are the happiest period ofin everybody's life.
ItisIt is a common praticepractice in some countries that teens havedo jobs whilestidying.while studying

I have a few reasons to think like that.

You can do away with this sentence. I have provided you an approach for intro in your other thread. Also mention "TOEFL" in the title ;)
OP brisky 5 / 13  
May 10, 2014   #5
thank you dumi
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
May 10, 2014   #6
The first thing the reader sees is your layout, which shows whole of your essay. If the layout is difficult to read, which is let's say: no spaces between paragraphs, then he/she immediately knows your writing needs more work to read. Hence, I suggest you to leave one space every time you open a new paragraph.


Home / Writing Feedback / In some countries teens have jobs while they are students.is it good or not?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳