In some countries the youth have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
In most countries youngsters are lack of free time for their leisure activities and they are greatly influenced in terms of studies. Indicating the major causes of this condition and giving some suggestions are included in this essay.

Nobody can deny that the key to success lies under hard work. Thus, everyone wants to be successful and happy. The competition for success, however, is the main cause for young people, which makes them concentrate only on their school performance. Consequently, youths are becoming obliged to provide most of their time learning academic subjects rather than socializing with peers. In addition, parental pressure is the impact that leads the situation to look worse. For example, as soon as a student arrives from school, he is controlled by his parents, who make him do homework. Therefore, both education authorities and parents are having incredible influence on young.

As for the solutions, it can be suggested that establishing a proper lifestyle is the thing which helps one cope with the pressure. In other words, doing all the activities that one would like to do is supposed to be good way of living. For example, communicating with friends also helps forget about the current problems and you can always enjoy chatting with them. Furthermore, doing various sports is the next thing that one can do in order to release the pressure.

In conclusion, people come to life not for having leisure, but for deserving for success and enjoying the results of hard work they have done. But still they have to keep both leisure and obligations in moderation.

To begin with, I'm not at all a sound writer but, I think the essay topic can have a different approach only if, the topic is "In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies"

You can form a thesis that highlights advantage and disadvantage for having little leisure time and a lot of study pressure among young people.

Pls let me know your opinion too.

This is a great thread! I think it will help a lot of people who are trying to improve their English.

Don't use "under" here:
Nobody can deny that the key to success lies under in hard work.

You don't need to use "but" and also "still." It is too much. Just do this:
But Still, they have to keep both leisure and obligations in moderation.

I think the first paragraph is too short. You should add a thesis statement to the end of it.
Google this: how to write a thesis statement

:-)

@EF_Kevin- Is it possible attempt this topic a bit differently. Example-form a thesis that highlights advantage and disadvantage for having little leisure time and a lot of study pressure among young people.

Pls let me know your opinion too.

Regards
Neeta

Hi Neeta! :-)

No, you cannot write about the advantages and disadvantages, because you have to write an answer to their question.

Give one paragraph about the causes. Give another paragraph about solutions. Then, go back to the top of the page and add an introduction paragraph. Then, go to the end and write a conclusion paragraph.

Thanks- EF_Kevin :D