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Criminal activity performs a crucial impact in societies. What can be do to minimize this phenomenon



aseprudi 20 / 19  
Jun 30, 2015   #1
Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the cause of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Answer:

Criminal activity performs a crucial impact in societies. Owing to a vast range of unemployment in cosmopolitan cities, citizens have less choice in order to obtain well-paid job. This is one of the main causes of increasing the number of crime rate every year. The government should be responsible for this matter by providing the workplace and educating the offenders such practical skills in the prison.

A particular reason on raising the crime rate which is happened in plenty of cities is that there are people who are idle. They could not acquire permanent job. To exemplify, in the contemporary era, recent studies from the statistics of South Africa reveals that the number of jobless in 2005 are exceeding five million people. They could not fulfil their daily need. As a huge number of poverty in South Africa, people have a tendency to earn wage by being a murder. Consequently, the figure of people committing a crime climbs annually.

The authority owned by government brings about measurements in order to tackle the matter. First of all, the state has a responsible to provide a job vacancy for their citizens. If people could be occupied in some companies, they afford to pay basic need. Thus, the number of crime would fall. What is more, the prisoners would rather be educated by rendering the skills such how to recycle the letters which are beneficial to earn money. After they accomplish their sentenced period, they are of practical skills.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although the proportion of murders which are appeared in the cities increases, the solutions to tackle the matters are available on the government. Where possible, people accounting for the criminal act should report it to the nearest police station for creating comfortable zone.

IqbalThemi 44 / 21  
Jun 30, 2015   #2
Hi, It is a few comment for your writing. Hope this helps.

A particular reason on raising the crime rate which is happened in plenty of cities is that there are people who are idle.They could not acquire permanent job.To exemplify, in the contemporary era, recent studies from the statistics of South Africa reveals that the number of jobless in 2005 are exceeding five million people. They could not fulfil their daily need. As a huge number of poverty in South Africa, people have a tendency to earn wage by being a murder. Consequently, the figure of people committing a crime climbs annually.

Note:
- In the first sentence, it seems bulky sentence.This leads readers to be hard to understand it. If I am you, I will write like this: "A particular reason of this is the rise number of idle citizens in plenty of cities."

- In the second sentence, it is not significant enough to support the first sentence. It loses coherent with former sentence.

- In an example for this paragraph, it requires to reorganize to make sure your reader. Some transition word is needed here.


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